Learning To Let Them In
by Aubreylovesthegames
Summary: Tris is broken and doesn't talk. She has no one left. That day took "them" from her. She has to move to Chicago and go to highschool against her will. She decides to keep pushing people away, not wanting any friends. But that becomes a little hard when 8 people keep bugging you constantly! What will happen? Will Tris ever let them in? My first fanfic!:) Please don't be too harsh!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So this is my first fanfiction…please don't be too harsh! I accept constructive criticism. I have no problem with that! But please make it constructive and not just hate…otherwise you're not helping. -_- Anyways! I've had my account for a while now, but could never figure out what to write about! Until now, obviously. Even if I just get 5 reviews for the entire story I'll be the happiest girl on Earth! ;) I don't expect much. At. All. If you're actually reading all of my blabber, then CONGRATULATIONS! Here's a cookie! (::) If you guys want me to continue this then I will let you know how long I think it might be between updates when I can figure out a schedule! :) Well I don't have anything else to say…I think. So without further ado, here is the first chapter! *Loud cheering in background***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent. :'(**

Chapter 1

Tris POV

17 years, 7 months, and 13 days. That's how long I've lived. 2 years, 11 months, and 21 days. That's how long I've wished to be dead. People say that the pain, guilt, and depression fades away with time. Not for me. Every day I wake up and feel the same amount of pain as the day I lost them.

For a little while people came to me giving me their sympathy and gift baskets. To help with the pain. I hate sympathy with a passion. It doesn't help anyone! All it does is make me feel worse. I shut the door on them. Rude, I know. But you can't blame me. Some people have even come up to me and said they understand my pain! When they did, I just gave them a death stare until they walked away. They don't understand what it's like to have just turned 15, and lose everyone you care about.

I'm not pretty. I have these ugly blue-gray eyes and a nose too big for my face. My blonde hair looks dead against the black clothes I wear. I look like a 12 year old even though I'm 17. I'm short and not wanted. Nobody likes me and quite frankly, I don't want them too. Really, all people see me as is a girl who is short, bad-ass, and broken. And that's what I am.

You're probably wondering who I am. I'm Beatrice Prior. Well…was Beatrice Prior. Beatrice was a brave, selfless, kind, fun, and loving girl. She would wear gray, pink, red, green, yellow, blue, purple, you name it! She wore just about every color in her life time. She died when she was 15. About a month later, Tris was born. Tris was dangerous and someone you did not want to mess with. If you did…well…let's just say that you might be in the hospital for a week. At the least. Tris wears black. That's all. She wears black because no matter how long it may be, she will always be mourning.

When I decided to switch to the lifestyle of Tris, I also made the decision to let the Beatrice in me die. Most of her did. Notice how I said most. No matter how hard I try, there is always gonna be a sliver of Beatrice in me. I hate her because she is a reminder of when times were perfect… enough money, enough food, friends…and-and-. I break down at this thought. I sob for only God knows how long. See? It's nearly been 3 years and I still haven't gotten over them. Not one bit. I'm completely broken inside.

I went to school for a little bit about 3 months after that day. I thought that if I went that maybe it could help get my mind off things. I couldn't be more wrong. I was bullied. Bad. They said I was weak, short, and stupid. I believed them. I still do actually. I got pushed, punched, kicked...and so many other things. This broke me even more. I started cutting. I felt like I had control of at least part of my pain. I have a fear of not being in control. That's why I did it. And I had a strange pleasure from cutting. I have countless scars. I stayed in school for that year. I've done online school now for a year now. I still cut though. It's that bad. I'm ashamed but I still continue.

I don't talk. I stopped that day. I refused to talk because I would have to relive that day over and over again to so many strangers. They have no right to know. So the easy decision was just not to talk. It was also the cowardly decision. But I don't care. The doctor's deemed me as depressed. Like I don't already know that. The funny thing is though, is that doctor's think depressed is just some disease that can be cured with psychologists, therapists, pills, and mental institutions. But being depressed is something more. It takes a lot to become depressed. You have to be in a very horrible emotional trauma to become depressed. I think-wait no- I know that my situation counts as one. I shut people out. I don't want any friends. None of them are real. Since that day anyways.

You're probably wondering why that day was so horrible and when it was. That day was on my birthday. It was the best day of my life! It soon became my worst. That day took away my happiness. It took away my voice. It took away my dignity. It took away Beatrice. It took away the colors. It took away my selflessness. It took away my bravery.

It also took away my family.

**Poor Tris. :( Please review! Tell me if I should continue this or not! Tell me what you liked and didn't liked…and some ideas! If I like an idea I will probably put it in unless it goes against the whole plot. This is gonna be a Fourtris story, but it'll take a while…Tris is broken and doesn't talk. They aren't gonna meet and be like "Hey! I like you! Let's date!"….I don't like those kind of stories. Chapters usually will be a little longer than this...just thought I'd let you know! So until next time, (if there is one) Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey peoples! So I'm here with another update! Thanks all you guys who reviewed! I had to delete this story once today because I tried to edit it and it wouldn't update onto the story so…I had 2 reviews already when I had to delete it and I don't want them to be forgotten! So my very VERY first reviewer was shannon. murray.9674227! Thanks!:) And my other reviewer was Ally646 ! Thanks to you too!:) You guys made me happy! Sorry for taking it down you guys…but I promise it won't happen again! And also thanks to Trisaba Daph Ride 464 for being the second first reviewer! If that makes sense? Heh. Heh. And my last thanks goes to six is back so is four for being my second second reviewer! Enough with me! Here's what you've been waiting for!**

**Disclaimer: Man, I'm sick and tired of doing these already! Its only chapter 2! Uh oh. But I do not own Divergent!**

Chapter 2

Tris POV

It was September 24 when the day occurred. I remember it like it was yesterday. Mom and dad had said that they'd take me wherever I wanted to go since I was turning 14! I mean I don't get what the huge deal was about turning 15, but I just rolled with it. I chose to go to the aquarium…we always went there as a family together, but couldn't find the time for the past year to go. I was practically bursting with happiness! I went to school that day already wondering about what that night would bring us! I really wasn't focused at all that day and I'm guessing that my best friends, Hailey and Taylor, sensed it.

At lunch they had asked me why I was so off that day. "Hey Bea, what happened? You look like you're going to explode right now…" asked Hailey. Yep. I knew it. They could sense it. I said "Tonight my mom, dad, and Caleb are going to take me to the aquarium! For my 14th birthday!" Taylor then said "Why is the aquarium so special?" I really quickly told them about our little tradition we used to have, even though we still have 20 minutes left until the bell rings. "Huh. I would've picked to go to the mall." said Hailey. "Ditto" said Taylor. We sit there awkwardly after.

I hated shopping so much. Still do. I don't get why people go to all these stores, buy things they don't even need, and then wonder why they can't pay their bills at the end of each month. Whenever people told me that, I'd be thinking "Huh. I wonder why." They're quite stupid actually.

Whenever Hailey and Taylor took me shopping -or should I say dragged me- I only bought a couple cheap things. With 2 bags max. Hailey and Taylor however, are a whole different story. They'd come out of each shop with like 3 bags so by the time the shopping trip was over, the trunk almost wouldn't close. It was never fun shopping with them. Things had been getting more awkward between Hailey, Taylor, and I over the past few months. I don't know why. I guess we weren't just as close anymore then.

The sound of a bell brought me out of my thoughts. I stood up and rushed out of the lunch room, gladly getting away from the awkward silence we held. And by the look of it, Hailey and Taylor were glad too.

Before I knew it, school was over. I made it home in record time waiting for everyone else to get home. Mom was the first to arrive at 5:45. "Hey sweetie!" she had said, "Is anyone else home yet?" "No." I said, "Not yet." "Are you excited for tonight?" she asked. "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! WORDS CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THIS!" I yell/scream. When I finally look over at mom I see Caleb, dad, and mom all covering up their ears. Huh. When did dad and Caleb get here? Oh well. Was I really that loud? Wait-WHAT AM I WAITING FOR!? Stop Beatrice. Don't scream and maybe they'll unplug their ears and listen. "Guys!" I say. " C'mon! What you doing just standing for!? What are we waiting for!?" It seems like they figured out that I was a little eager….well ok. Maybe a little crazy, but nevertheless, it worked! They started moving towards our car!

We all piled in to the car. The aquarium closed at 9:00 pm so we had to get a move on if we wanted to see everything! It was already 6:00! It's only a 30 minute drive to get there, but it is also a rush hour because everyone wanted to go eat supper with their families. I don't think I'm gonna last that long….Caleb looked over at me, looking at me, ready to cover his ears at any time, but I knew that if I would yell it wouldn't help make the trip any faster so instead, I take 5 deep breaths. When that is done, I am a lot calmer.

I opened my eyes and stared out the window watching scenery pass by. Mostly vehicles though. I looked up ahead and saw a swerving car. I figured it was just my imagination, but couldn't make myself look away. I saw it coming closer and closer and looked at the path it was heading. I was heading straight towards us. I gulped. "Hey dad?" I said still looking at the car. "Yes Beatrice?" my father asked. "Um…there is a car that's swerving around the road and its headed straight-" I was cut off by an impact, the sound of screaming, shattered glass, and pain. So much pain. I close my eyes.

Wait. Where is mom? Dad? Caleb? I forced my eyes to open. I looked to where Caleb was sitting and I can remember seeing a bloody mess of what used to be his ribs, and chest. I crawled over, ignoring the pain, and looked for the rising and falling of his chest. The only problem was, was that I couldn't see it. I had put my fingers on his neck, checking for a pulse. Same thing. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO! Caleb can't be dead! I remember thinking to myself, "He's just in a coma and he's gonna wake up and laugh and be the big brother he's supposed to be!" but somehow, I knew that wasn't true. I slowly left him, sobbing, and looked for dad and mom. I found dad first. I saw several shards of glass stuck into what used to be his face. I didn't see his chest moving either! NO! Caleb and now you! I didn't know that yet though. I looked at something other than his face and saw a lot of blood around his neck and chest area and knew that he didn't make it. I started crying even more. I didn't know a human could cry that hard until then.

"Wait! What about mom! I needed to find her!" I thought. I started searching until I heard a very, very faint "Beatrice". I knew it was mom. I mean, who else would it be!? "Mom!? Mom!? Where are you!?" I asked. Again I hear my name, but fainter this time. "Beatrice". I heard her from my left and immediately found her after I turned. She looked horrible. I think she got the worst of the impact. But how was she still alive? What if she's not gonna make it?! NO! She had too! She was still alive! This gets me to slow down my tears and move towards her. "Mom?" I asked for confirmation. I knew it was her, but for some reason I needed to hear her say it was her. "Yes sweetie" mom said. I instantly started sobbing. Again. "Mom, please don't leave me! Please! You're all I have left! Don't go!" I yelled. "I wish I could sweetie. I don't want to leave you. But my time has come. Sooner than I wish it would be, but still the same. I love you sweetie. Don't ever forget that." Mom said. "NO! Mom! You can't leave! You're a fighter! You and I can make it through this! We always do!" I sobbed.

Mom faintly smiled and I could tell that soon enough, there wouldn't be a trace of a smile there anymore. So I took all of her in. So I could remember her for as long as possible. I took in every detail, every curve, and every sparkle of love in her eyes. I etch that into my memory permanently. But even though it was supposed to be permanent, I knew that it would only be temporary. It would only last about a year and I would start to forget. I dreaded when that day would come.

"Sweetie, please listen to me. I know I don't have much more time, so I want to give you your present." Mom said, snapping me out of my careful observation. "Mom! I don't need a present! I need you!" I said, crying a little more soft. "Sweetie, just remember this as the last thing I gave to you." Mom said as she handed me a little present. "Please open it. Quickly." She said. So I did. I unwrapped it and found a small little box. I looked at my mom. She nodded at me as if giving me encouragement. I opened it up and saw a beautiful necklace. It had a charm with some flames on it and engraved in the flames were the words "**Be Brave". **"I love it mom! I love it!" I said, while putting the necklace around my neck. "I figured you would. Listen Beatrice, I love you so much and I don't want you to ever forget that, okay? Caleb, your father and I all love you. So much. Don't forget it!" mom said. "I won't mom! I won't!" I say starting to cry a little more. She smiled again, this time out of pure love. She looked at me, as if observing every inch of me. Like I did to her. Finally, she looked at me one last time and said "Be Brave, Beatrice." And just like that, the rest of my family was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry I have updated for a little while…I swear. School is gonna be the death of me! I absolutely hate school. I mean, half the stuff we learn, we are NEVER going to use in real life! Ugh. I had an American History essay I had to do because I was gone sick one day. Also to make up for my sick day in computer class, I had to type 8 frigging pages of crap! And I repeat CRAP. Like "fff ddd sss aaa frf ftf ded Jack had to run to the store to pick up some groceries." Ya. Stuff like that. NO ONE CARES ABOUT JACK AND WHAT HE HAD TO DO! Anyways….I can't believe I have 10 followers and 8 favorites! You guys are AWESOME! Thanks so much! And 6 reviews! Well technically 8…but the important thing is I ALREADY REACHED MY GOAL! WOO HOO! THANKS YOU GUYS! Your reward is a the longest chapter yet! ****(YES! Longest chapter yet!) Also thanks to "Awesome Guest"...well you kinda took my saying, but I'm gonna say it anyways! You ARE AWESOME!;) Hey and I finally found the perfect cover image for this story! It's a poem...but it describes this perfectly...you should look at it. When I found it, I couldn't believe it! I mean, it described this whole thing perfectly! Please read it...its only 4 lines long. It wouldn't kill you!;)  
**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Divergent, I wouldn't have killed "certain" people off. -_-**

Chapter 3

Tris POV

I remember hearing sirens coming closer and closer, but wouldn't move away from my mom. Even when the medics had come over and were trying to assess my damages. But I just couldn't move away from the body that used to hold her smile, laughter, words, and soul. I just couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, the medics pulled me away. I was getting weaker and weaker, so it became easier for them to pull me away. If I had had a choice, I would've stayed right there forever. But of course, in this world, you never get choices. And when you do, they aren't important.

The medics may have pulled me away from her touch, but I could still see her. So I kept my eyes glued on her the entire time. When they brought 3 body bags out, I started screaming. "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM AWAY FROM  
ME! NO! CALEB! MOM! DAD! PLEASE COME BACK!" Then I felt a needle go into the vein in my arm, and as I was fading into blackness I managed to make out a whisper "Please come back. Please."

When I woke up the next morning I could hear a very annoying beeping sound, but when I tried to look up to see what it was, I felt a sharp pain fly to my head, causing me to have a horrible headache. So I put my head back down and decided that it could wait. I looked around to try and figure out where I was. I saw white walls, tables everywhere, bright lights, windows, and a door. I assumed that the door was to my room. I thought for a few minutes and then finally realized that I must be in a hospital. "_But why would I be in a hospital?" _I had thought.

Once again, I thought for a few minutes, willing for memories to come back in my head. When they did, I had wished they hadn't. Everything came rushing back to me all at once, causing a huge animal-like sound to come from my mouth. I cry for a long time. Longer than I think anyone has.

When I finally slowed my tears down, I looked at myself…or at least as much of me as I could see. When I did I saw a cast on my left leg, stitches all over my legs and arms. Also on my left arm, I had another cast. I saw severe burns on my feet and ankles. I think they got the worst of it. I also saw a bunch scabs…at least 100. I saw a piece of my hair on my shoulder and saw that it was singed and burned. Ugly.

I heard the door to my room open, and heard footsteps approaching me. It only sounded like one pair of feet though so I figured that it would either have to be a doctor, nurse, or a visitor. "But who would visit me?" I had thought. They got closer and closer and then I saw a woman, about mid-age, with long black hair, and a tan skin tone. She had tears pooling in her eyes. She had looked so familiar, but couldn't quite place my finger on who it was. So I closed my eyes and thought about who she may be. After a little while I remembered seeing her at around  
Christmas time and my birthday each year. She and mom would hug and sit down on the couch for hours and talk about each other's lives and what they've missed out on and how much they had missed each other and all that. She was my mother's best friend. They had been really close through high school, then lost touch with each other when they went to separate colleges. They had found each other, about a year after graduating, at a grocery store in Florida. We had taken a vacation to Florida, just to get away from our small little town in Ohio for a little bit. Mom and I went shopping for basic things that some of us (me) forgot and as we were walking down the toothpaste aisle, we saw Tori. Mom had gone up to her and started crying. Tori cried too.

I joined in on the hug soon afterward, but not on the crying of course. We probably looked really funny. 3 people hugging and crying in a toothpaste aisle. When we finally pulled back, mom had said "I can't believe I found you!" And Tori just smiled and said "You better not leave me again missy!" My mom promised her that she wouldn't and asked if she wanted to stay with us for a little bit, while we were on vacation. She, of course, agreed.

While we were all there, we tried to make an agreement of when to see each other each year. Finally, we decided to all get together for my birthday, Caleb's birthday, and Christmas. One Christmas, my mom had looked at Tori and asked if she could talk to her privately. So they went into another room. It was late so I told Dad that I was tired and excused myself. What he hadn't known, is that I was going to go see what Tori and Mom were talking about. I eavesdrop a lot. And I mean A LOT. So I'm and expert.

When I reached the door, I had put my ear up against it and listened in. I could also see through the keyhole. I heard Mom saying "I need to ask you a very important question, Tori." Tori looked confused and worried. "What is it Natalie? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" Mom just smiled and slightly chuckled. "No Tori, I'm not hurt, and neither is Andrew. This concerns the kids." "What about the kids? Nothing is wrong with them either…right? Said Tori. Mom took a deep breath in and said "Tori, if anything would ever happen to Andrew or I would you take Beatrice and Caleb? You're the only one I trust enough to do this." I heard Tori reply "Of course Natalie! I would take those kids in any day! They are wonderful kids. Let's just hope that nothing ever happens to you or Andrew though." "Me too, Tori. Me too." Mom had said. I saw them bent over and scribbling a little bit later and figured that they were probably writing down that information. I took that as a sign to go to my room and snuck quietly upstairs. The accident had happened 2 years later.

As I pull myself out of the memory, I hear Tori calling me for supper. Tori is now my legal guardian. You see, when everything had been settled in court, Tori decided to move to me instead of making me move to her. I love Tori a lot, but she will never be Mom.

As I walk down the stairs from my room to the dining room, a pleasant smell of chicken and pasta fills the air. When I get downstairs, I sit at the table and wait for Tori to bring supper out.

When she does, she serves me a plate of food that is filled. I know I won't eat all of it. I haven't been hungry ever since I woke up after that day. I have to eat though. Tori wouldn't let me starve to death. Although, I would like to sometimes. Just to disappear from all the pain, all the sadness, all the emptiness. Just imagining seeing them again makes my stomach fill with nervous excitement...but I know that Tori wouldn't allow it, plus I would feel bad if I left her alone.

She gives me a look, just like she does at every meal. The look has worry, hope, sadness, and pleading. She knows I don't eat much.

I look down at my plate filled with chicken, pasta, peas, and orange slices. I looked back at Tori. She still wore that same look. Just to make her happy, I took an orange slice and ate half of that, took 2 bites of chicken, a half a spoonful of peas, and 2 bites of pasta. When I'm done with that, I look up at Tori. She just sighs and says "Go ahead. You've had enough. You are excused." I look up at her with a look of gratitude and slightly smile. She smiles back.

I never smile. Ever. I only smile at Tori and even then, it's not a very big one. I feel bad. Tori is trying her best. I know that she would give anything to make me better. And I'm thankful for that. I mean, even though I don't talk to her, and shut myself in my room almost all day, she still makes 3 meals a day and checks on me every so often, just to make sure I'm ok. I love Tori for trying. She is the only one who actually takes time out of her day to try. For me. That's why I smile at her only. No one else deserves it. No one else but her.

I hate to say it, but sometimes I just want to get out of this town. I feel like I'm trapped in my tiny hometown. I'm constantly plagued with memories. Whenever Tori takes me with her to go run some errands, I remember. Every turn we make brings a new memory. Caleb and I driving home from school together and stopping at the candy store every Friday to try a new candy. Mom and I going to the grocery store and end up taking 5 wrong turns, even though it's a very small town. I remember laughing with Dad when we went to go volunteer at different organizations when we messed up or said something that was very blonde of me. Memories, memories, memories. So many.

As I was saying, I wanna get out of here, so I can hopefully walk around without being made fun of, or being pushed down by some kids. But I don't know if that would be the right decision…well if I ever got the choice. Would it be wrong to leave the only town where you once had a happy, loving family? Would it be wrong to leave everything behind? Would it be wrong to leave just so you can start a new life? Is it wrong? Is it selfish?

Even asking myself countless times if it was wrong, I know that if I got the chance, I would be packed up and ready to leave within a day. But I don't know if I ever will get that chance, and that's why I don't let myself dwindle on that topic for too long at a time.

I sigh and lay back down on my bed. I miss mom. I miss dad. I miss Caleb. I miss my family and the happier days. I then remember that it was all my fault it happened. I start sobbing into my pillow. If I wouldn't have shrugged the car off in the first place and warned dad earlier, we would've been safe at the aquarium and back home. Even if that happened I still could've called 911 right away, instead of just standing there and do nothing but crying. I was stupid and a coward.

I stand up and go to take a shower. As I stand in the shower, I pick up my razor and start to add new cuts to my collection. I bring it to my thigh and slide it down once. One for my cowardliness. Once again, I bring it down. Two for my stupidity. Again. Three for letting Mom die right in front of my eyes. Again. For not warning dad earlier. Again. Being the only survivor. I switch it to my wrist. Again. Not letting the medics get to my family, even though they could've possibly saved them if it wasn't for me blocking their path. I do it over and over again. When I'm finally done I've added 11 new cuts and later scars. Satisfied with my pain, I get dressed and climb into bed, thinking about happier times. I start crying and slowly cry myself to sleep. Just like every night. I know my dreams will be plagued with nightmares about losing them. It happens every night. I'm absolutely terrified of what tonight's dreams will bring me, but fall asleep anyways, against my will.

**So there you go! Sorry it wasn't a very exciting chapter. It was more of a filler…I feel bad. But pretty soon, everything will start to come together! Within the next 2-3 chapters! I promise! It was the longest chapter by far...they probably will start to become a little longer when I start to get into the story a little more...But it was 2.5k words! It counts for something right? I probably won't be able to update for a few days…my mom comes home from surgery tomorrow, and I will be helping her a lot. So here's my apology in advance! SORRY!:0:0:0 But please review! And should I have a QOTC? Please tell me your thoughts about that and this chapter! Pretty please? With a cherry on top? And if you don't like cherries…with candy on top? And if you don't like any candy...then you're just not human. Hehe... anyways...Thanks for reading!:) Audios Amigos! **


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLO PEOPLE!:) Hey, I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while…I've had to help my mom, and I also had some writer's block…but I'm back now!;) So….without further ado…here is Chapter 4!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any other characters…Not even Four. :'( I also don't own "The River Flows in You" by Yiruma or "All of Me" by Jon Schmidts…I'm not sure if I need to do the songs…but oh well. If I didn't, who cares? ;)**

Chapter 4

Tris POV

_"__Honey!" It was my mom. "Come downstairs please! We have something for you! It's your birthday present!" "Ok, Mom! I'll be right down!" I said. It was my 12__th__ birthday today. I know they have a present for me…secretly I was hoping for a piano. I've always been mesmerized by their beautiful sound. I know that Mom had played piano at one point of time in life, so maybe she could teach me. I wanted one really bad, but I would never tell. I wouldn't want to be selfish and rude. _

_When I get down the stairs, I see a HUGE box. It lays horizontally. It has a bunch of silver wrapping paper with purple polka dots on it. The box about 4 feet long and about 5 feet high. It was about the size of a piano…but they didn't know that's what I wanted…right? "Happy birthday!" Mom, Dad, and Caleb all yelled! "Well, what are you waiting for? Open it! C'mon!" said Caleb. _

_He was so selfless. Just seeing other people happy made him happy too…but I know he was probably one of the nerdiest people I've ever met. So he has an interesting personality. Mom and Dad are also selfless. Mom has always been a little more daring though…she doesn't show that side of her very often and when she does, it's only for a very short period of time. A minute at the most. Dad was smart. Like Caleb. But he only showed that side of him when Caleb and I needed help on our homework. It was enough nevertheless. We always got it done on time with the correct answers. _

_I approach the box, wondering what something that size could be. Again, a piano comes to mind, but I push it to the back of my head. I didn't want to show any disappointment on my face whatsoever, if it wasn't a piano. _

_I start to unwrap it, slowly and carefully, trying not to rip any of the beautiful wrapping paper on it. When that is a success, I see a picture curving around the very edges of the side I was on. I can't see enough of it to be able to tell what it is. The picture must be on the other side. I look at my mom and she looks excited. I sit at that side for a moment and look at Dad and Caleb._

_Caleb looks eager and annoyed. The annoyed part of his look must be because of my slowness. Dad looks the same as Mom. Excited. "C'mon Bea! Look at it, already!" Caleb whines, as if it's his own present he wants to see._

_I decide not to keep them waiting any longer and slowly get up and walk over to the other side. What I see makes tears spring to my eyes. A piano! I look over at everyone and Mom asks "Do you like it?" She looked a little nervous. I look at her in the eyes and say "Are you kidding me! I don't like it! I LOVE IT!" and hug her as hard as a 12 year old possibly could. "How did you know!?" I asked. "I always saw you loved the piano. When we would walk past them in a store you would automatically walk over them. It was pretty obvious actually." Mom said, while smiling. _

_We bring it up to my room and once it's situated I say "Thank you so much guys! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" They smile and mom then asks, "Do you want me to teach you?" I smile and say "Yes please!"_

_So she does. We practice every day after I come home from school, and before I know it, I'm playing so many different songs, I can't even count all of them. After about a year, I'm playing very difficult songs with ease. I play "The River Flows in You by Yiruma, "All of Me by Jon Schmidts", and even just modern day songs. All thanks to Mom._

_Suddenly, everything changes and it's my 14__th__ birthday. I know what this day brings, even in my dream. I pray and wish that I will wake up before it happens, but I know that my wishes never come true. I'm not going to wake up before this happens. I'm in the car and I try to tell my dad before this happens, but it's like my lips are glued shut. I can't talk, but I can move. Maybe if I use hand gestures. I try to, but they won't look at me! I try to talk, but again am not successful. I see the car swerving around the road and feel silent tears drip down my cheeks. I see it coming closer and closer and I close my eyes. _

_I feel the impact, and I can feel the same amount of pain as that day. I hear Dad, Mom, and Caleb talking. Confused, I turn around and force myself to open my eyes. I see them all bloody and mangled. "This is all your fault Beatrice! If you would've warned us, we would've been alive!" That was Caleb. I find that I can talk now, but can't move to help them. I try talking. "No! No! I tried, but I couldn't talk! I really did try!" I half yell, half cry. 'Don't even try that with us Beatrice! We know you could talk! Do you not love us enough to even help us!" my dad yells. "Beatrice just help us! Move! Please!" Mom. Not her. No! No! No! Not mom. I can't have her criticize me! No! _

_I start crying. I try to move…but I can't. "Just move Beatrice! You could save us! Please!" cried mom. "I can't mom! I can't move!" I say. Suddenly her eyes turn hard and cold. Not at all like the ones had I known. "You don't even love us do you!? You are going to be happy once we are dead, aren't you!" yells mom. "No mom! I'm not!" I say. "Oh well. I never loved you anyways. You were a disgrace. Goodbye Beatrice." Says Mom. Then all of them, Mom, Dad, and Caleb, fall back at the same time with no life left in them. "No! Mom! No!" I yell._

I wake up in cold sweat, panting and screaming. I have tears streaming down my cheeks.

I hear Tori come in. "Tris! Tris! Are you alri-"she stopped talking when she saw the tears on my face. "Another nightmare?" she asked. I slowly nodded my head yes. "Oh, honey." Tori said. She came over and cradled me while I cried into her shoulder. "What was it about? Can you show me?" she asked. I slowly looked over to the piano in my room. The same one as 4 years ago. It sits in the corner of my room, dusty and old. I haven't touched it since the day they were gone. I can barely look at it without bursting into tears thinking of the memories it brought.

I then look over at the pictures on my windowsill of Mom, Dad, Caleb, and I. I take an extra-long time looking at these. I see the picture of Caleb and me, from when we went to Paris as a family vacation, and had managed to get ice cream all over our faces from the café we had went to. I see the picture of my dad and I standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. That day had been fun. We had explored the city and our last place we had went to was the Eiffel Tower. It had been my dream to see it. I see Mom and I standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, looking over the ledge. We had been the only ones brave enough to venture out to the ledge, and even more, look off of it. This had been one of the times when her brave part of her personality had shown.

I tear myself away from the pictures and finally point to the untouched calendar in my room. It is off by 2 years, almost 3, and is set to the month of June. Like the piano, I hadn't touched the calendar since that awful day.

I watch as she slowly puts the pieces together. When she does, she looks at me and says, "Listen, Tris. I know that it may not seem like it now, but someday the pain WILL start to fade away. It might tomorrow, it might next, week, or it might be 5 years from now, but I just know that you'll make it through this." I look at her with new tears in my eyes. I don't believe her, but it brings tears to my eyes to think that she believes in my strength, and won't ever give up on me.

I hug her, and she hugs back. We stay like this for, who knows how long, until she finally breaks the silence. "Tris?" she asks. I look up at her to show her that I'm listening. "Listen, this may not be the best time, but I need to tell her something." She says. I start to worry. What if she doesn't want me anymore? What if she thinks I'm just some broken girl who is weak and can't get over the past? Or even worse yet…what if she has some disease and is gonna leave me alone? "No, Tris. Stop thinking like that. Nothing bad is going to happen." I think to myself. I still can't get rid of my worrying thoughts though.

The worry must be evident in my eyes because Tori takes one quick look at me and says "Don't worry! It's nothing bad! Well…I don't think at least." Good. Just hearing her say that makes relief spread through my body like a wave washing on to the shore. But….what is it then?

I cock my head to the side, clearly showing confusion. She takes a deep breath and says, "Tris, I've been looking for a job. You knew that, right?" I nod my head yes.

It's true. She'd been looking for a job for the past year and a half. I don't know how she hasn't gotten one yet….I mean she's responsible, respectful, kind, but stern. Just what people needed for a job, in my opinion. But in other people's point of view, I guess they didn't want that in a person. I don't know why, so don't ask me. Anyways, she's been going to different schools. She's always wanted to be a teacher.

Tori snaps me out of my thoughts. "Well, at the last job interview, they said they had enough teachers, but were going to send my resume out to other schools that needed teachers. Yesterday, I got a call saying that they found me a school that was interested in employing me. I would be the art and music teacher if I accept." She says. I know she loves art AND music. It would be a win-win. But there is something she's not telling me.

I look at her, urging her to go on. I know the look in my eyes says something along the lines of, "I know you're hiding something form me. Spit it out, c'mon! What's the worst it could do?" She sees this look and takes a deep breath. "Tris… it's in Chicago." She says. This takes me by surprise.

Chicago? Chicago!? Wow. I was not expecting that. How far did this person send her resume out to!? Tori looks at me again, and I can tell she's trying to hide it, but I know that she really wants this job. "This is completely up to you if we go or not. I don't want to force you to move if you don't want to." She says, looking me over.

I close my eyes and think about it. Would I want to move away from the only place I really knew? Move away from the memories, the pain, the past? Move away from the house I once lived in, with my only real family?

No matter how many questions I ask myself, I know that I want to get away. Plus, this is one of the only job opportunities that Tori will get AND like. I want to escape this town, the town that caused all the pain and destruction. I want to start over and make a new me…but I think I need just a little bit more time to look at my belongings and out my window. I need to see everything, just one last time. Before I leave because I know that I will never look at my belongings close like how I will be looking at them within the next 10 minutes, or so. Just one more glance, then I will be able to move on…I think.

Slowly, I open my eyes and see that Tori is looking at me with disappointment in her eyes. She thinks I'm going to say no. "Listen, Tris. I know that it would be hard for you to move away from the only place you know. It's fine. Maybe, I'll get another opportunity closer to here." She says, but I can see the doubt and sadness in her eyes as she says this.

She starts to walk away, but I grab her arm at last second. She turns around and looks at me with a new hope starting to form in her eyes. "Yes, Tris?" she asks. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and look at her as if to say, "Give me a few minutes to think." She knows me so well, that she understands and walks out the door, but not before asking, "Is 10 minutes enough time?" I nod my head yes. She walks out the door, obviously knowing that I need some privacy right now.

Slowly, as if I know that it's going to be the last time I do (Which I do, I guess), I look out my window, and out into the small town I live in. Even with the size, it still looks big, because of all the memories it holds. I see the lights that light up the street at night, the greenest grass I have ever known, and the noise of cars, driving into the night, passing through this little town of mine, most likely heading to another city, and this was just on the way there. I know I will miss this place, but at the same time, I'm glad I'm leaving. It's weird, but I don't really want to think about this too much right now.

I move on to the pictures. I silently cry as I look at them. This is the part I was the happiest and the saddest to see. My mind is strange. I take a close look at each one of them, memorizing them, and making sure the picture is stuck in my memory, before moving on. I make sure the memories are in my mind too, even though I know that I won't want to think about them for too long after this. It will just bring more tears.

I finally move on to the piano. I don't know what it means to me exactly, but I know it means just as much as the pictures do. I'm sobbing by the time I get to the piano because it has irreplaceable memories behind this as well. Nobody could ever replace them. No one at all. Besides, who would want someone like me? Broken, short, ugly, stupid, weak, non-sociable, flat-chested, the list goes on.

I pull myself out of these thoughts and focus on the task at hand. I look at the piano again, this time brushing off some of the dust that lays on its keys. I pull out one of Mom and I's favorite piano books from the piano bench and hold it close to my chest, like a mother would do for her baby. I flip through its pages and come across our favorite duet. I start to sob, but surprisingly, still staying quiet enough that Tori hasn't come in yet…or she just knows that I would need privacy and is not coming in because she knows I can handle this, if nothing else. I suspect the latter, but I'm still not sure.

I slam the book shut and stuff it in the piano bench once again. I'm too weak to even handle this. How does Tori handle me and my weakness? "Enough." I think to myself. "Stop thinking about that. Your 10 minutes is almost up." I sigh and force my thinking to a stop. I look at the piano again, but I slowly start to reach out to a key. I close my eyes. I'm not sure why I do this, but I can't stop myself now. I hear a sound and snap open my eyes. I noticed I hit a C. Just like I always would when Mom told me to pick out my favorite key. It was always a C, no matter what. I start sobbing even harder, which I didn't know was even possible.

I start taking my calendar off my wall and rip it up. I rip it into a million tiny pieces. After I slow my crying down to a slow stream I throw all the pieces into the trashcan. I know my ten minutes are almost up and drag myself onto my bed, expecting Tori to walk in at any moment. I manage to get my tears to a complete stop…for now at least. I know they will be reappearing soon.

I hear the door crack open and look over to see Tori walk in. She still has hope in her eyes, but is trying to hide it. She looks at me and asks, "Have you made your decision? Or do you need more time?" I hold up one finger, as if to indicate that I will answer her first question first, then nod my head up and down, slowly. Then I hold two fingers up, for the second question, and move my head from side to side. Yes, no, are my answers. She nods her head and looks at me one more time before asking, "What did you decide, Tris?"

I close my eyes, take a slow deep breath, and open them. I see her looking at me with expectance and hope gleaming in her eyes. I realize that she probably wants this as bad as I do. I look up at her and close my eyes, remembering what it was like outside my window. I decide to tell her. I've kept her waiting long enough. She leans closer to me and asks, "Tris? Yes or no?" I give her a sliver of a smile, before nodding my head yes.

Yes, as in, we are moving to a new city, a new house, a new neighborhood, a new school, a new job for Tori, where

I can create a new me.

**Once again, I apologize for the long wait. I did help my mom a lot, but she is getting A LOT better! So I should be able to update more often! :) I went to school today and kept getting really excited when I knew I should be able to update tonight! That's what kept me moving throughout the day! I hope to update again soon! :) This chapter is the longest chapter yet! I felt bad for keeping you waiting, so I went back to Microsoft Word and added about 600 more words. Just for you guys! Now it's 3.5k words instead of 2.9k! :) Please review and tell me your thoughts about this chapter! Whenever you review it motivates me to keep writing, so PLEASE review! I read each and every one of your reviews, you always make me smile, no matter what you put! ;) Next chapter should be up fairly soon, and it will be about Tris' first day! :) So until then, BYE!:):)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Did you miss me? Or did you just miss this story…-_- Well never mind the face. Either one makes me happy! ;) I'm back with Chapter 5!:) I'm not gonna keep you waiting for TOO long…so here you go! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Well….if it's your birthday…but that's not the point…iCarly anyone?)**

**Disclaimer: Uriah, please do it. I'm getting tired of doing this.**

**Uriah: Ok Aubrey! Wait, what am I supposed to say again?**

**Me: Just say that I don't own Divergent some way.**

**Uriah: Ok! **

**Me: *5 minutes later*…SAY IT!**

**Uriah: *scared face* OK!**

**She doesn't own Divergent some way!**

**Me: *Face palms***

Chapter 5

Tris POV

Today is my first day at Divergent High School. To be honest, I'm kind of nervous. What if it turns out like my old school? What if they find out who I am?! "NO Tris. They won't know who you are! Just get ready!" I think to myself.

We moved to Chicago about a week after I told Tori yes. We have a medium sized house. Not too big and not too small. I like it. It doesn't draw attention to us. Even better. The inside is really pretty with wood furnishing and carpeted hallways and rooms. I picked a medium-sized room with a window. The window only gets a view of another window to the house next door. It's not like I'm going to be looking out of it 24/7 either. So I really couldn't care much less.

My room was peach and white colored. Tori and I painted it over the summer. It is now black with blue and gray stripes towards the very front of my room by the door. I have to say...it looks pretty good, in my opinion. It's just like my "hair" now. Main color is black with highlights towards the front.

My room has a bed with a really comfy mattress. It has a black and gray comforter on top. The pillow cases are blue so everything matches!

It also has am adjoining bathroom. It's a nice bathroom. It has a shower, a sink, and a toilet. And cabinets above and under the sink. The shower curtain is black. The towels in there I are blue and gray. Once again, it matches.

Also...sitting in the corner of my room is the piano. I may not touch it much, but I need it in my room. It gives me memories that I am scared to forget. I had painted it black carefully, so I wouldn't get any on the carpet, on the keys, or on the inside of the piano. I was successful, but it took a months. Longer than it took to do my room! But it was worth it. It looks great.

I go into the bathroom and gaze at my reflection. When everything still looks good, I walk out and go lay down on my bed.

Last night I changed my appearance. My ugly blonde hair now is black with a gray and blue streaks toward the front of my hair. It doesn't look great either, but it's not the worst.

I didn't just pick random colors. Blue was Caleb's favorite color. Gray was Dad's favorite. And black was both Mom's and I's favorite color. That way I can carry a piece of them with me wherever I go.

I didn't put permanent dye in, just squirt dye, so it will wash out with water. Like, when I take a shower. I want to be myself sometimes. Just seeing myself once in the mirror before putting the dye in, is enough for me to grab onto the memories, right before they slip away again, like the black dye in the shower.

I decide its time to get out of bed and go to my closet and pick out my outfit. It ends up being black skinny jeans, a black tank top, a black sweatshirt, and black tennis shoes. I don't put on any make-up. I don't see the point. It won't make me look pretty, so why put it on?

I look into the mirror and I approve. I may look Goth to some people, but I'm really not. I'm just mourning. Not like anybody would understand anyways…well maybe except for Tori. She knows why I wear black. She approved of my hair before I dyed it. She knows why I did it too. She will be the only one who understands. Always has been, and always will.

Tori and I called the online school site I used to go on, and told them I wouldn't be on this year. They understood and took me off the site. I can't turn back now.

"Tris! Breakfast!" Tori yells from downstairs. Well, I better start heading down. I don't want to be late.

I head downstairs and smell pancakes and bacon. Tori looks at me and says, "Now, you don't get to leave until you eat at least 5 bites of your pancake and a all of your bacon. You WILL eat, missy." I look down at my plate and back up to her, a pleading look on my face. I can't eat that much! She sighs and says, "Fine 2 bites of bacon and 3 bites of pancake. But I'm not budging anymore, so you better start eating." I look at her thanking her with my eyes and eat what she told me to.

I finish and run upstairs, brush my teeth, and make sure my hair isn't wet, all before I hear Tori yell from downstairs, "C'mon Bea! We have to go! You ready?"

Tori calls me Bea sometimes…I kind of like it when she does. It brings back some good memories. It doesn't last for long, but it's long enough.

I rush downstairs. I see Tori waiting by the door. I slowly walk over to the door. Fast enough so we won't end up being late, but slow enough that I don't have to face high school as early as life wants me to.

Tori sighs and pushes me along to the car. I get in, slowly as well, and buckle up. As we are driving along, Tori starts to talk to me. "Bea, I already notified the other teachers to call you Tris and that you won't be able to talk. Is that alright?" she asks. I should've known Tori already had that covered before I even thought of it. She thinks ahead…VERY far ahead. And I'm grateful for that. I look at her and nod my head yes. I'm glad it's already taken care of….thanks to Tori.

She's like the sister I never had…almost like a sister. I guess? She is like a sister in a parently form? Huh? I don't even know how to explain it…she's not like my mom, never will be and she knows that, but she's like a part of my family. I love her, even though I can't say it.

I see Divergent High School up ahead. Before I know it, Tori has stopped the car, and I'm looking out the window, observing the kids in the parking lot. I know that every person is separated into one of 5 different "factions", as they call it. Tori told me that you get to choose which faction you join…but I don't know which faction. I hope to join somewhere, where I can at least partly belong in, and blend in as well. With no one noticing me, questioning me, or helping me. Just the way I like it.

I keep searching the school ground until I find all 5 factions. I finally find them, and start see the 5 different groups…they are large too. I see kids in red, yellow, and orange. They look peaceful, playing games, giggling and laughing, telling one another jokes, and girls playing with the other's hair. I automatically know that I won't be choosing them. Too…"Happy and giggly" for my taste.

I soon spot another. I asked Tori about this faction once…she said they always tell the truth, whether or not it's what you want to hear. They wear black and white. It reminds me of a jail cell. Trapped in their own honesty and blandness to know what is going on outside of the cell. Never being able to tell a lie, again. I know FOR SURE that I won't be joining their faction. Absolutely not. That is a big N-O.

I see another. They wear blue and almost every one of them wears glasses. They hold books close to their chest. Some are reading them. I see titles on their books, about anything and everything! Titles like, "Water Irrigation and Every Way It Can Be Used", "Photosynthesis (Expanded Version)", and even things like, "101 Ways To Use The Periodic Table and It's Elements" It doesn't seem as bad as the other two…If nothing else, this is a faction I could join. This is the faction that Caleb would've joined…It can't be THAT bad… right?

I quickly realize what I just thought. It brings tears to my eyes to think about it. I blink them back, because I know that if one tear drops, 100 more will follow it. I distract myself by looking for the other 2 factions.

I find the other one. They wear gray and sit alone by a building. What are they doing? What is this faction's purpose?

I look back at Tori and point to them, having a confused look on my face, I'm sure. She quickly figures out what I want to know and says, "That is the selfless faction. They put all others before themselves. They don't play games, ask one another for help, or look in mirrors, as it is considered selfish. Which goes against their rules."

I look back at them and think of how easy it would be to blend in with them. Just disappear into the wave of gray. No one pays attention to them, and I wouldn't be bothered by anyone from the faction, anyways. It's too "selfish". I think about it then come to a conclusion.

I don't want to join this faction…to live my life in this faction would only make my situation worse. Plus I wear black and own nothing gray. Except for my mother's shirts…but I would never wear those to high school. Never. I wouldn't risk it.

As I rule that faction out, I start to look for the last one, but for some reason, can't find them. About 5 minutes later, I see a huge wave of black start running towards the school. What are they doing!? I see different people do flips, cartwheels, and climb the building. How do they get away with this!?

I look over at Tori and she slightly chuckles. I must have a look of confusion and awe on my face, because Tori starts to explain. "Those are the Dauntless. They are kind of like brave, daring, careless, and athletic all mixed together."

Hmmm… maybe I could fit in with this faction…I don't know if I'm brave or athletic, but I'm DEFINITELY daring and careless. That describes me perfectly. I need more information first, though, before I make any rash decisions.

I give Tori a look as if to say "Go on…" I see her raise an eyebrow, obviously knowing that I'm interested. "Well…they like to climb buildings, play truth or dare, they ALWAYS wear black, and they don't pay much attention to anyone else, outside of their faction or friend circle." She says.

I think about it. I wear black all the time, I don't really want to be noticed, which doesn't seem like it will be a problem, since they don't interact with anyone outside of their friend circle.

I know I don't want friends. They are just fake. They will turn around and stab you in the back in the end. All the "friends" that I once had did. Friendship is just an excuse to gain things you need through other people. Using them to your advantage.

Especially boyfriends. They're the same, but worse. I had one before…and let's just say it didn't go well. At all. He used me to his advantage…but in a much crueler way. I didn't have the desire or need for one after that. I don't want one. I can function without anybody else. Always have been this way. Always will be this way. I may not function properly, but you can't blame me. I've been through a lot.

My mind turns back to the Dauntless. I'm not afraid of heights, so I could climb. I don't really play truth or dare, but that goes back to the "Friendship" fake relationship thing. And I don't talk. So that's ruled out. I don't pay attention to anyone else either, once again. Back to the fake "Friendship" crap. And "Boyfriend" stuff.

All in all, I think I want to be in Dauntless. I think I would fit in well with them. At least, as much as possible, anyways. Sure, I could fit in just as easily with the Erudite and Abnegation, but I think I like Dauntless better than any of those. Those factions are just there as a last minute option. If I need one.

Tori snaps me out of my thoughts again. "Do you know what faction you would like to join yet, Bea?" she asks. I do know. I look at the Dauntless again. I know I want to one of them.

I look over at Tori and nod. She looks surprised, but not surprised at the same time. Like she knew which faction I would pick, but didn't know I'd make the decision so quick. I surprised myself too. I never usually make decisions like this that quickly.

"Well…which faction do you want?" she asks. I know she already knows, but wants to make sure. I make sure Tori follows my movements when I do the next thing.

When I know she is, I look out the window to where the Dauntless stand. Or should I say jump, flip, and run. And I point. When I look back over at Tori, she looks proud. Proud of me. This makes me smile a bit.

"Well," she says, "Should we go inside so you can tell the principal your decision?" I nod my head yes.

We get out of the car. Each step I take gets closer to the school. Each step also brings a new rack of nervousness into my stomach. I feel sick. I force myself to keep moving, though.

By the time we get to the doors, I feel like throwing up. I quickly take a few deep breaths to calm down and slide down the wall for support. I close my eyes and will the splitting headache to go away. After about a minute it does.

When I open my eyes again, I see Tori's eyes staring straight into mine with a worried expression. "Are you sure you want to do this, Tris?" she asks. I nod my head yes. I know that I need to do this for me and for Tori.

Tori looks at me, searching my eyes, for any doubt or negativity. To make sure that I'm not lying about this. When she is sure I'm not, she nods and helps me up.

We head down to the office. When we get there, I see Tori walk off towards the principal. Tori and the principal are talking and muttering. Probably about me. They finally stop and the principal walks over towards me.

"Tris, this is Mrs. Matthews. She is the principal." Tori says. I look into Ms. Matthews eyes and once I stare in them long enough, I see that her eyes look caring and understanding.

If you weren't as good as a searcher for emotions as me, you wouldn't have been able to see that behind her mask of sensitivity, is cruelty and greed. I already know that we won't get along. Even if I don't talk.

"Hello, Tris. I am the principal of Divergent High School. I'm sure that we will get along great! You will love it here, I'm sure." Ms. Matthews says. "Now, Tori here, has already informed me that you don't talk. I have notified the other teachers. So they all will know by the time you get to your classes." She says. "I also hear that you know which faction you want to join?" she half questions, half states. I nod my head yes. Finally, something I can answer to that makes sense!

"Now, I need you to take a short little quiz before-hand, just so you can make sure you are making the right decision on choosing your faction. Ok?" she says. I nod my head yes. I hate quizzes, but I guess it won't kill me.

"I'll see you later Tris!" Tori says. Then she comes up and hugs me. While she is hugging me, she whispers, "I know you don't want any friends at the moment, but promise me that if someone tries to talk to you, please don't shrug them off right away. Give them a chance. I know that that the last friendship you had didn't end so well, but keep in mind that the people here are different people. They don't know your story, so they have nothing to judge you for. Please try."

Oh no. This isn't what I wanted! I don't need friends! Friends aren't real! I don't need them! But then again…It would be nice to have someone who is there for and someone to hang out with, and-wait. What am I thinking!? I don't need friends! Or do I? STOP TRIS!

I shake my head to clear my thoughts out of my head. I do need to try. Once at least. Tori is right…these people have no idea who I am. They don't even know my real name! I need to try for me, Tori, Caleb, Dad, and Mom. No matter how much it pains me to say it, they would want me to try at least once. And if trying doesn't work out, then I can just go back to being Tris.

I look at Tori and nod my head yes. She look relieved and shocked that I agreed. I guess I am surprising her a lot today. She smiles and says, "Thank you Tris. Thank you for trying." Then she walks out the door while saying, "Good luck, Tris." Then I'm left alone with a confused Ms. Matthews. Wonderful. She'll probably try to get me to talk. Not happening.

"Ok…" says Ms. Matthews. She clears her throat and the confused look wipes off her face. "Well then…shall we head to the office for your quiz?" she questions me. I nod my head yes and follow her back through confusing hallways. I probably wouldn't be able to find this place again for my life.

When we get there, I sit down on a chair in front of her desk. She then hands me a little sheet of paper and asks me to fill it out. I look at it and see it is asking me about how I dress, what my hobbies are, and what my personality is like…it must be for the factions! I quickly start to fill it out, hoping that I will qualify for the Dauntless.

_What is the color you mostly wear?_

That one was easy. Black. Of course.

_What do you like to do in your free time?_

Hmmm….this one was harder. What do I like to do in my spare time? Then I've got it. I'll put down what I like to do now and what I used to like doing in the past. I put down "I like to fight, help other people, like the homeless, and have my homework done before I do anything with family." Seems good enough…I did always like to have my homework done. On to the next one.

_What are your favorite moods?_

Huh? What are my favorite moods…? Oh! It means which moods do I like to be in! Huh. This is hard…I would like to be happy all the time, but I am not happy now. So I put down "I like to be angry, so I can take my anger out on punching bags, and I also like to be happy, even if it's just for a very short amount of time." Seems good enough.

_What personality traits do you think are most important?_

I know which ones are most important to me so I write down "I think the most important traits are being brave, selfless, and smart." That was the last question.

I hand the paper to a waiting Ms. Matthews, and wait to see what my test results are. After each question she reads, I see her face become more confusing than the last. Did I do something wrong?

When she finally is done, she sets the paper down in front of her and clears her throat. "Well, Tris…you have some very interesting test results." She says. She starts to look over it once again, until I give her a look as if to say, "Well, what are they!?" That snaps her out of it.

"You see, Tris, most people only get one result on their test. You, however, managed to get three." She says. I look at her, stunned. _"How would a plain, dull person like me get 3 results!? I don't need any more things to make me stand out!" _

As if she could read my mind, she says, "Your results are not told to the school. Don't worry." She says and I swear, for a moment, a saw a look of genuine kindness in her eyes. But it went away as soon as it came.

She gets down to business. "Tris, your results were for Abnegation, Erudite and-" she is saying. As she is saying this, I am thinking _"Please be Dauntless. Please be Dauntless." _"-and Dauntless."

_"__YES!"_ I think. "Tris, you are allowed to choose any faction, but I highly recommend that you choose one of your results." Ms. Matthews says. I know what I am going to choose even before she asks.

She puts down the paper in front of me, which I can see has Dauntless, Erudite, and Abnegation written on it. "Now, which one will it be, Tris?" she questions. I look at the paper, then at Ms. Matthews, then at the paper again. I lower my index finger and point to one word. That one word is Dauntless.

To other people, Dauntless may seem like just a place where you are expected to fit in, and belong, and fight until your heart's content. But to me, it is a new beginning.

A chance to start my life over again.

**Hey guys! I am so so so so so so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in forever! This week has been REALLY busy and crazy. I had longer volleyball practices, then I had my first game yesterday, and tomorrow I have a party to go to AND I'm going with some of my friends to Manhattan tomorrow night! So I'm sorry if this wasn't that great, but I was trying my best to write in my free time! And I felt rushed, so I hope the story wasn't too rushed either. It felt like I let you guys down. Sorry again! But are any of you guys going to the K-State Volleyball game? If you are please tell me in a review of PM me! Maybe we would see each other! Maybe? But anyways…please review and give me some ideas! I also had really bad writer's block….but I will try to update ASAP! Until then, Audios Amigos!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! I've got another chapter for you! I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while….I was busy this whole weekend and week! I feel so bad! I hope you can forgive me! I had 2 home games for volleyball, practices are longer-5:45 instead of 5:15-, a bunch of homework, and I was literally busy every minute of the day on Sunday. I had to go to youth group in the morning and afternoon, go to church, then I went to go see "The Game Stands Tall" (Which was very good, by the way), then I had to weed-eat for my dad, and I had to work on homework. Then, I had a family reunion, then today I h am babysitting my brother… Those may not be very good excuses and I'm sorry again…but I do have a life outside of Fanfiction…I wish I could write all the time for you guys…but sadly, I can't. I'm going to try to update 1-2 times a week…but no promises! But anyways…here is Chapter 6!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Divergent I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it….now would I? **

**Chapter 6**

**Tris POV**

Mrs. Matthews looks surprised when I point to Dauntless. I guess she must just be surprised that I picked the "ruthless" faction, instead of a selfless or smart one. I thought about Erudite, I really did, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I needed to be in Dauntless.

Mrs. Matthews wipes the look of initial and utter confusion look off her face. I can see her eyes are dark with hatred….why would she hate me? Did I so something wrong? I only picked Dauntless….she clears her throat, making me snap out of my thoughts. Ya…this happens way too often. I'm going to have to fix that.

"Ok then, Tris. Are you sure you want to be a Dauntless? You have great potential to become an Erudite, you know…" Mrs. Matthews says. I don't know why she is saying this…why is she trying to get me to be an Erudite? I want to be Dauntless…that's what I picked! Why does she look surprised to see me choose Dauntless!?

Then it hits me. She doesn't think I'm strong enough to make it in Dauntless. Usually, I would agree with her, but since I don't like her, I'm going to prove her wrong. I WILL make it into Dauntless. I WILL prove her wrong.

I look her in the eyes, making sure my eyes look angry and without a trace of doubt in them, and vigorously nod my head yes. She looks surprised that someone as small as me can have that much ferociousness inside her. "Oh, Mrs. Matthews," I think, "You haven't seen ANYTHING yet."

I continue to glare at her until she gets the message. She clears her throat again. Man, how many times does this woman clear her throat in a day? I'd like to know. She looks at me and says, "Ok, Tris. I'll enter you in as Dauntless in our computer."

I watch as she furiously types away at a keyboard. She types so fast, I can barely register what she's doing. All I see are blurry fingers….they don't stay still for very long, before they move to a different key. Pretty soon, she stops.

"Ok. That is taken care of. You are now an official Dauntless." Mrs. Matthews says. Thank goodness. I thought I would be stuck here for hours before I would be able to get to class. The bell has already rang twice. One for the end of class bell, and one for the tardy bell. I'm excused of course, but I still want to get away from this lady. She is sort of creeping me out. "Ok. I have printed off your schedule. Would you like it now or at the conclusion of this meeting?" Mrs. Matthews asks. I hold up two fingers. "Later?" Mrs. Matthews asks. I nod my head yes.

I don't want another thing I just have to keep track of until I absolutely have to. Especially if it's for school.

"Ok. Well, I guess that I will review some of the rules with you that apply to Dauntless. If that's alright with you of course." Mrs. Matthews says. She looks at me with an expectant look. Well, might as well get it over with now. It's not like I'm going to listen anyways. I slightly nod. Mrs. Matthews starts her blabbering. "Ok! Well, some of the most important rules are…" I tune out right there. I have better things to think about than to listen to her blabber about some stupid rules. I doubt I'll even follow half of them.

I pretend I'm listening by nodding my head every so often. I put my head in my hands and suddenly wish that I could sleep with my eyes open. If I could, that's what I would be doing right now.

I tune back in when I hear Mrs. Matthews say, "And I think we are done discussing the rules. Any questions Tris?" I shake my head. If I would listen I would probably have a bunch, but I don't want to listen, let alone ask any questions I might have had. So I shake my head no. "Ok, then Tris. I think we are pretty much done here. Would you like your schedule now?" she asks. I nod my head this time.

I need it if it is the end of the meeting. Why would she ask? She knows that I need it. She even said that I needed it at the end of the meeting! Ugh. I think too much.

Mrs. Matthews just nods her head once, and starts to furiously type on her computer…again. Finally, a piece of paper starts to print. When it's done, she hands it to me. She starts to explain how the schedule is organized and blah, blah, blah. I tune out AGAIN, and just look at my schedule.

**1****st**** Period**

**Algebra 2- Mrs. Ritters**

**2****nd**** Period**

**World History- Mr. Prock**

**3****rd**** Period**

**Gym- Coach Amar**

**4****th**** Period**

**Art- Ms. Wu**

**Lunch**

**5****th**** Period**

**Chemistry-Mrs. Matthews**

Hmmm…I guess Mrs. Matthews teaches chemistry, too. Dang. I was hoping to never see her again. Oh well. I continue reading.

**6****th**** Period**

**AP English- Mr. Hayes**

**7****th**** Period**

**Music- Ms. Wu**

**Free Period**

**Locker #- 36J Combination- 26-6-40 Homeroom- Ms. Wu**

Well, I guess it doesn't look too bad. I have homeroom with Tori, along with music and art. I'll be looking forward to seeing her! At least I'll know I like 1 of the teachers…I already know I dislike Mrs. Matthews though. Oh boy. This is gonna be a long year.

I look back up at Mrs. Matthews. She looks like she is just watching me… doing what exactly? I don't have any clue. Why? I have no idea. Ask me at the end of the year, maybe then I'll know.

When Mrs. Matthews knows that I am done, she says, "Well….does your schedule look ok? Or do I need to change some of your classes?" I start to think. 1st period has already passed. It's towards the end of 2nd hour now. I don't really want to go to gym right now… I just want to see Tori. I haven't gone this long without seeing her before. Pathetic, I know. But, I'm not used to it yet. I think I want to switch Gym and Art.

I take out a pencil out of my book bag and draw a couple of arrows, from gym to art, indicating I want them switched around. When I'm done, I show Mrs. Matthews. "You want these classes swapped?" she asks. I nod my head yes. "Well, lucky for you, I can do that. Just give me a minute." She says.

Pretty soon, she says, "Ok. I have that changed for you. Anything else?" I shake my head. I'm happy with my schedule. As happy as I could be about a class schedule, anyways. The bell rings once again, signaling that 2nd period is over. "Ok," Mrs. Matthews says, "If you don't need anything else, I think that we are done here." I do anything, just wait for her to say something else.

Mrs. Matthews obviously senses this, and says, "Ok. I will write you a tardy pass, because I imagine that you will be late, after trying to open your locker and finding the classroom. And I could do something for you that would make it easier for you to find your classes and your locker, if you would like."

I wonder what this would be... I probably would need help finding everything. I doubt it could hurt. I need to hear more though, before I make a decision. I look at her, cocking my head slightly to the side, so I look curious, but confused at the same time. Hopefully, she gets the point.

Thankfully, she does, but it takes about a minute before she does. When she does she says, "I would send a guide down here. It would be a girl. She would show you to your classes today, so you could get the hang of where you need to be and when. Would you like me to do that?"

My first answer is no, and I'm about to say it when I remember what Tori said. _"I know you don't want any friends at the moment, but promise me that if someone tries to talk to you, please don't shrug them off right away. Give them a chance._ _I know that that the last friendship you had didn't end so well, but keep in mind that the people here are different people. They don't know your story, so they have nothing to judge you for. Please try." _

Her words repeat over and over again in my head. _"Give them a chance. Give them a chance. Give them a chance." _

I know I need to, because I promised Tori. I have broken a lot of promises in my life, but I have never broken one to Tori or Mom, Dad, or Caleb…. I need to do this for them and for Tori. They would be happy if I tried.

So I look up at Mrs. Matthews and nod my head yes. She looks relieved. "Ok, then. I will send a girl named Christina Kravitz down. She has almost the exact same schedule as you. And for the classes that you don't have with her, well, I know you'll be able to find because she has a whole group of friends that will happily show you your way. I'm not sure which one, but I do know one of them will. I will call for Christina right now. But let me warn you…she is kind of…how should I put this…obnoxious." She says. Then she nods as if approving her words and says again, "Very, very, obnoxious."

Obnoxious. What does she mean by that? Well, I guess I'll find out sooner or later. Then I remember something that Mrs. Matthews said. _"I know you'll be able to find because she has a whole group of friends that will happily show you your way."_

Oh no. She has A WHOLE GROUP of friends! That's not what I wanted! Maybe 1 or 2, but not a WHOLE GROUP! This is not going to be fun. _What if they push me for answers about my past? What if they make fun of me_? _What if_…stop it Tris. You can do this. I mean, how big of a group could it be? _It's probably a huge group! They might like me, but what if they find out my story? They wouldn't even come near me if they knew the truth. _STOP IT! _But what if-_

My internal battle is quickly stopped when I hear the door open and a girl my age walks in. She is very pretty. Probably about 5'5 to 5'6 feet tall, has very tan skin, has dark brown hair that comes to about shoulder-length. She has dark brown eyes as well. Very pretty. I wish I was that pretty. But sadly, I will never be as beautiful as her, or anyone else for that matter.

Suddenly, she starts talking. "So you must be the new girl! I've heard about you! I know we are just going to be besties! C'mon! Let me show you to your class, then you could meet some of my friends! I hear that we have most of the same classes together! EEK! This is gonna be so great! Finally, someone new that isn't a snob! My name is Christina! What is your name?!" By the time she finishes, Mrs. Matthews and I are both covering our ears, trying to block out some of the noise that Christina made. Well, now I know what Mrs. Matthews meant when she said she was obnoxious.

Mrs. Matthews quickly comes in and says, "This is Tris, Christina. Now, she doesn't talk, so please don't push her to. It is a very sensitive subject. Now, if you will, please show her to Art with Ms. Wu. I have given you both a tardy slip, though Ms. Wu should already know. But just in case she doesn't, here you go girls. These are for all day, also, as you will be showing her to class throughout the day, Christina."

She gives each of us a white slip that has some things filled out about meeting with the principal and being excused from bring tardy today. I don't really examine it real closely, I don't think it's that important. All I need to know is that it gets us an excuse for being tardy. This is probably the only time I'm thankful for Mrs. Matthews butting in. Christina probably would've been confused and hurt if I didn't talk to her.

"Ok, Tris! Let's go to your locker! Wait. Let me see your schedule! I need to see which classes we do and don't have together! And I wonder where your locker is..? I hope it's by mine! If it's not by mine I hope that it's by one of the gang's! The gang is AWESOME! You'll love them! I just know it! We are going to be AMAZING friends!" Christina says.

I'm glad that she didn't ask about my talking…I see the confused look in her eyes. I guess Tori was right though…the people here ARE different than the people at my old school. Maybe we will get to know each other better. I probably won't go as far as _friends _yet, but I will keep it in mind. Just like Tori asked of me.

I nod my head, yes. I look at Christina and she doesn't look hurt at all by my non-talking thing. Just confused.

"Where _is_ your locker anyways? And you still haven't given me your schedule!" Christina questions. I hand her my schedule, so 1. She will stop bugging me about it. 2. So she will stop talking for a minute. And 3. So she can get the answers to the questions she all asked.

When she is done reading it, she turns, looks at me and says, "Well…we have 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th period with you. The only period I don't have with you is free period. Your locker is 4 away from me! Not too far, but it's far enough." As she says that, she makes a little pouty face, but it quickly disappears as she says the next thing…"Your locker is right next to Uriah's though. He's in the gang. He is sort of the daring and funny one, along with his brother, Zeke. You'll meet them later! I can't wait until you do!" she exclaims.

I'm suddenly glad that I'm not by a person who doesn't know me and will make fun of me. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it's kind of hard. It makes the cutting a whole lot worse. So I look at her and nod, again. I also give her the tinniest little smile. In fact, it's so small that I don't think she would see it. So I try to make it a little bigger, by thinking of all the opportunities I can get at this school. She sees this, and smiles a huge smile back. It's such a big smile, that I swear I would be able to see it from miles away. Her teeth are pearly white also, so I could probably see the sparkling from miles away, also.

"Well, Tris. We are here. This is your locker! This is mine, right down here." She says and starts walking a couple of lockers away, until she suddenly stops. "Well, this is it. See? I'm not that far away from you! YAY!" she yells. I almost cover my ears again, but by the time I made the decision, she was done screaming. Then, she starts to enter her combination into her locker.

When she is successful, I see decorations EVERYWHERE. There are pictures crowding the door of her locker, a mini marker board in the back, a little chandelier at the top of it, shelves for her books, I'm guessing, and duct tape and wallpaper all over. It covers every inch of her locker. There are also homemade covers for the different books she has. I wonder how long this took to make!? I know that I won't decorate mine really at all…maybe a drawing here and there, but that's not much.

I look at her with a shocked face. How did she do this all!? She must see this because she says, "Oh, I had some help from the gang. The boys weren't really excited about it…the girls and I mostly did the work. The wallpaper and duct tape we made the boys do though."

Oh, okay. I understand now. Of course she had help from the 'gang'. It makes so much more sense now.

I nod at Christina. "Ok, Tris. You ready to try and open your locker?" Christina asks. I might as well try now…I'll get to Tori's sooner. So I nod my head yes and start to walk over to it.

Once I get there, I look at my schedule. I see the locker combo at the bottom of the page and try to open my locker. _"26-6-40" _I think to myself. I fail the first and second time, but on my third try, I finally get it open. "Good job, Tris! That's the best anyone has ever done for their first time trying! These lockers are a pain in the arse. I swear they are jinxed, so you are late to all of the classes that have the strictest teachers. It's happened to me so many times! I hope it isn't as bad this year as last year though…last year I had over 25 tardies! Ugh." Christina says.

I know what she means. It happened to me plenty of times over the years. I can only hope that these lockers aren't going to be as hard to get open as the last locker I had. I'm crossing my fingers.

"You ready to head to class?" Christina asks. I nod my head yes and we make our way towards Tori's classroom.

When we get there, I open the door, and see a whole bunch of people staring at me and Christina. Probably because we are late. Still…that's no reason to look at us like we just murdered somebody! I swear…people these days. I got worse looks though…so I can live with this.

"Ah. There you are Christina and Tris! Take a seat! It's not assigned seating, so take a seat anywhere you would like." Tori says, breaking the stares from part of the class. Not all of them, but most of them. She looks over at me, slightly smiling, knowing that I am giving someone a chance this time around.

Christina starts to head over to a table with only a couple of people sitting at it. When we get there, she sits down, so I do the same. These must be some of her friends, if she's choosing to sit here.

"Now, class, since this is the first day, I'm going to let you talk for the rest of class period. Just don't get TOO loud, otherwise the Erudite next door will be very annoyed. I trust you! Don't make me regret it! Or I will assign homework every day, for the rest of your time here!" Tori says. Then she winks, so the class knows that she is just messing with us. I knew she was messing around, probably because I know her so well, but some of the class apparently didn't. Those were ones with scared and shocked faces, but quickly faded away when they saw her wink. Most everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok! I hope you know I will never do that! Now you can start talking, drawing, or whatever you want to do! But please do something!" Tori says. As she said that last part, she looked over towards me. It was a pleading look. Well…I won't talk, but I can listen. So I do.

"Hey guys! This is Tris! She's new here! She's going to be hanging with us! That is ok, right?" Christina says. Two girls and a guy look me over. "Hey Tris! I'm Marlene! This will be great! Another girl for our gang! YES! Great job picking her out, Christina!" Marlene says. She seems nice enough.

Good. At least I know 2 people now don't hate my guts.

"Hey Tris! I'm Shauna, and like Marlene, I am SO happy that another girl has finally joined!" Shauna says. _"3, people…"_ I think. And then I look over at the last one. HE has deep, ocean-blue eyes that I feel like I could just sink into if I stare long enough at them. He is very muscular and has dark brown-almost black- hair.

His voice snaps me out of it. "Hi, Tris. Welcome to the gang." He says. What is his name? He never told me. I look at him with an expectant look, hoping it won't take much more.

It doesn't take him very long at all….almost as short as it does for Tori. Maybe he will kind of understand me….maybe? Maybe, just maybe, he likes me enough to understand me like this. Oh, I need to stop thinking like this. No one, and I repeat NO ONE will want to go out with an ugly, broken girl like me. Especially him.

I was thinking about a mile a minute, when he opens his mouth to speak again. He says, "Oh, ya! Sorry, I sorta forgot. I'm Four." Four? That's one I haven't heard of before…but who am I to judge? I simply nod at him.

I look to Christina, Shauna, Marlene, and Four, over and over again, while thinking, _"Maybe this won't be such a bad year after all."_

**I am so so so so sorry for not updating! I'm sorry if the end wasn't very good. I am currently rushing to type this up. I have to go to an orthodontist appointment in 2 minutes! So sorry again for not updating. Once volleyball season is over, I will update more often. So sorry if I let any of you down! Forgive me? I'm gonna have a review goal…just cause I think it would be fun! But it's not like I am NOT gonna update if I don't reach it…so it's not forced! So is it too much to ask, if I say my goal is 32 reviews? I hope not! But, until next time, BYE PEOPLES!:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! So I have been typing a little bit of this chapter piece by piece every night…so I hope it isn't like that in the story! I've reread it many times…but I can't really judge my own work. So ya…here is Chapter 7! Once again, sorry for updating so late. Volleyball season is almost over guys! Hang with me!**

**Disclaimer: Ugh. Seriously! Does this have to be said every time! I do not own Divergent, and nor will I ever. As sad as it is. That's just reality folks.**

**Chapter 7**

**Tris POV**

After meeting Marlene, Shauna, and Four, they all sit there talking. Well…everyone except Four. I found out that he doesn't talk much either. He just sits there, taking everything they are saying, and processing it in his brain. Every once in a while, he smiles or chuckles. But he never fully laughs or gives a huge grin. Just enough so you know that he isn't dead.

I start to wonder why that is…I mean, when Four was talking to me, I am pretty sure that that was the most he has said. It's probably nothing though. It's just me and my crazy, unrealistic thoughts. Me and him…nope. It's never gonna happen. Who would want me!? Nobody. Absolutely, no one. No one has ever wanted me, and they never will. Well except for Eric…never mind.

I force my thoughts to go back to the original question…why doesn't he talk much here? Maybe it's because they are girls? No. I'm a girl and he talked to me a lot. Hmm….

I know Four would probably want nothing to do with me. Wait- what am I thinking! Remember Tris!? Boyfriends are just an excuse for boys to use you and to get what they want. That's all. Yep! Four is no different! He was talking to me more because he was just being polite. _"Exactly Tris. He was just trying to be polite. I mean, no one would ever want you anyways! Who wants a broken, ugly girl, who looks like she is 12 instead of 16! Who is selfish, weak, a coward, broken, lonely, friendless, doesn't talk-"_says a little voice in my head. I try to cut it off, but the list keeps on going. The reasons echo in my head loudly. _"Ugly, a coward, weak, selfish, friendless, lonely, don't look my age, lonely, bad social status, not popular, doesn't talk, looks like she is 12, doesn't eat, _-" the voice in my head suddenly stops because of another noise talking its place.

It is replaced by a feminine voice. "Tris? Tris! Earth to Tris! Are you ok!? Tris?!" it says. I try to pull myself out of my thoughts, just enough so I can respond. I finally succeed enough just to nod. I see her worried eyes looking at me still, but eventually, she goes back to talking with the girls. She must know that I'm not going to give her an explanation.

I try to stop it, but the voice in my head keeps going. It keeps the cruel list going…on and on and on. _"Ugly. Stupid. Selfish. Dumb. A coward. Weak. 12 year old." _It says.

I keep trying to pull out of it, and it takes a while, but I finally succeed. The voice is very distant now. I can faintly hear it, though, and know that there will be some new cuts added to my collection tonight.

I have tried to stop cutting. I really have! But it's just impossible. My family is gone. I have Tori, but it's not the same. I still blame myself for what happened. I should've warned them earlier! Just like Dad said…in my dreams (or nightmares. Whatever you want to call them.) And even if I didn't, I still could've tried! I could've called 911 earlier, instead of having someone else do it for me, who was just a witness! If I were at home right now, there would be at least 3 cuts added already. Unfortunately though, I don't and can't have anything sharp here. I better save these thoughts for home, otherwise I might have a breakdown Right here. Right now.

I decide I better take a look at everybody. I look up and see the girls STILL talking, but Four is looking at me with a worried expression. Why would he be worried about me? "_He's just faking it Tris. No one cares about you!" _the voice says. It's probably right. Eric acted like the perfect gentleman; he was polite (sometimes), honest (or so I thought he was at the time), respected me (for a little while), and always would say I was beautiful. A lie. Lie after lie after lie. And I didn't know. I was so stupid! How could I have let that happen!

I start to dig my nails into my wrist, hoping that it would draw some blood. But unfortunately, my nails are very short because one of my habits is to bite my nails. Dang. I start to give up when the voice comes back. It says, _"That's right, Beatrice. Give up just like the day you gave up on your family! You really are a worthless piece of junk."_

I feel tears start to come to my eyes, but I blink them back and try to ignore what the voice just said. Although, I know it was right.

I manage to avoid a replay of the list, and look at Four again. He's still wearing the same look. I know he is faking it! I just know it! …Right? I don't know anything anymore. I probably will never get the truth again, anyways. So why does it matter?

I see Tori start to walk over here and I quickly meet her eyes. I'm hoping that I could just sit by her for a little bit, but act as if I have to. So she would have to ask me. I'm hoping she gets it with the quick eye contact. I have a pleading look in my eyes, and look over at her desk, then look at the one I'm sitting at now. Lucky for me, she gets it.

"Tris? Can you come sit by me for a little bit? I need to get some information from you since you're a new student here, and tell you some rules and guidelines that Mrs. Matthews seemed to have forgotten to tell you. Is that ok?" Tori asks. I nod my head yes quickly. I hope it wasn't too quick though…I don't want anyone finding out ANY of my past. Not yet.

I stand up and follow her to her desk. As we are walking, I feel many pairs of eyes, burning through my skull. I shake off the feeling and pull up a chair and sit by her at the desk.

So it looks like she is actually telling me the things that she said she needed to, she starts to ask me questions. But they aren't informational at all. Obviously. "So Tris," Tori starts to ask quietly, so the other students wouldn't be able to hear, "I see you've made a couple of friends?" She says that more as a question than a statement. Probably wanting me to confirm.

Well…I guess I have. For now. Christina, Marlene, Shauna, and Four. And maybe more to come at lunch time. I don't know how many will actually put up with me and how many will like me. I guess four people like me…Christina for sure. She was the first one that saw my smile. I actually appreciated her. It wasn't much of a smile, but it was something.

I look up at Tori and hold up four fingers. Indicating that I've made four friends. Then I slowly put down 3 of them, hoping that Tori will know that I have made one TRUE friend. She does and she gives me a huge smile. "See? I told you that not all people are the same!" she says. I guess she did. But I haven't even known them for an hour yet. They could easily turn away. So I just look at her and shrug my shoulders. She sighs, obviously hating that I didn't give in to her statement.

"Tris, when are you going to learn that people can like you and WILL like you? Those 4 people sitting right over there, accepted you without a second thought. They didn't hesitate to bring you into their friend circle! That's what true friends would do Tris! I know that you may not believe this now, but none of what happened is your fault. I know that you think it is, and it's been weighing your shoulders down. You've gone through too much for your age. Your only 16 for goodness sake! You shouldn't have had to go through that! It's not your fault! Our neighbors know it, your family knows it, I know it! Heck! Even strangers who read the newspaper or watched the news know it! Everyone seems to know it except for you. And that breaks my heart. I don't know how you've managed to put together that what happened was your fault, and I really don't want or need to know, because no matter what you say, nothing will change the fact that it wasn't your fault." Tori says.

What does she mean that it isn't my fault!? It is my fault! All of it! I thought everyone knew that! But according to Tori, no one does. I look down, refusing to look her in the eye. I don't want to see the dishonesty or pity in her eyes. She sighs, but continues to speak.

"You've always took the blame for everything, even when you were younger. When you and Caleb would get into trouble, you would take the blame because you thought it was the right thing to do and it was selfless, which was what you were taught to be. You would take the blame even when everyone knew that it wasn't you. You may not know it, but you are the most selfless person I've ever met in my entire life. You are an amazing girl, but you refuse to acknowledge it!" she says. Her voice gets even softer. "You are beautiful, selfless, brave, strong, and so many more things Beatrice. You are wonderful, but you refuse to acknowledge it. You're strong and brave, but refuse to believe it. You are selfless, but you don't even know it. You have a wonderful and beautiful sliver of Beatrice in you and you and I both know it. Beatrice is brave, selfless, strong, creative, beautiful, the list goes on. Beatrice is beautiful. Tris is beautiful. You are Tris. You are Beatrice. You're the same person. But you decided to make the dark side of you come out. And I know that I probably shouldn't be telling you all this, when I know that I probably would've ended up doing the same thing. But I need to tell you because you are beautiful. You are a beautiful person inside and out. That side of you is beautiful. But you always forget to show it." Tori says.

A tear streams down my face, not for her speech, and not because I believe her. But because of what she thinks I'm capable of. I know I'm not strong or beautiful or any of the things she said I was. But I do know that I once had a pretty side to me. A selfless and beautiful Beatrice. But I am Tris now. Ugly, broken, and someone you wouldn't dare to mess with. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I know that I am not going to go back to being Beatrice anytime soon. If there is any time at all, for a matter of fact.

I wipe off my tear and look at Tori. She is smiling a sad smile. She knows I don't believe her. But I need to show her that I am glad she said what she said. I give her one of my biggest smiles yet and look over at the room. Tori and I have seemed to play it off like it really was rules and regulations we were talking about, because nobody is looking over here anymore. Except for Four. Oh well. It's not like he would care anyways.

So since no one but Four is watching, I reach over and give Tori a hug. It's a quick hug, but I haven't ever really hugged Tori before. You can tell it catches her by surprise, but she soon hugs me back. It's a quick hug and we both let go at the same time. The bell rings right at that moment, so I smile one last time at Tori, and walk out the door. I'm just glad I have her as my teacher for 2 classes.

Christina, Marlene, Shauna, and Four all catch up to me pretty quickly. "so Tris, you ARE sitting with us at lunch, right?" Christina asks me. I nod my head yes. It's not like I'm going to be able to sit anywhere else. "YAY!" Marlene, Shauna, and Christina yell at the same time. "Tris! Let me see your schedule!" Marlene says. I dig in my book bag for a few seconds before finding the schedule and handing it to her.

After studying it for a little while she says, "Well it looks like I have 4th, 5th, and 7th period with you! It's better than nothing I guess…" She hands it to Shauna next. "I have 1st, 4th, and 7th period with you!" Shauna says. Then last but not least, they hand it to Four.

For some reason, I feel nervous. "Why are you nervous, Tris!? He's just a friend! If that!" I say to myself. I can't shake the nervous feeling off though, so I just do my best to ignore it.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he says, "Huh! I have 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th, and free period with you! Almost all of them!"

What!? He has almost as many classes with me as Christina! The only periods he doesn't have with me are 2nd and 6th. But it is only one less class than Christina, because he has free period with me. So that makes 6 classes in all with him! Wow. I wasn't expecting that. Not at all.

I simply nod at all of them. Shauna, Marlene, and Four. "Wait, Tris. What is your locker number?" Shauna asks.

To answer her question I hold up 3 fingers first, then after she nods her head, I hold up 6. "36?" She questions. I nod my head yes. Then she has a follow-up question. "Oh. So you're by Uriah...right?" Once again nod my head yes. "Well, I'm only 5 lockers away from you. I'm locker number 41." Shauna says. "Ya." says Marlene. "I'm locker number 34. So I'm right next to Uriah! We are only two lockers away from each other!"

Wow. I'm surrounded by all these people! Seriously!? How is this even possible? I guess I'm not mad about it. I mean…I'd much rather be next to them than by a slut or a bully…ya. I'm not mad at all actually, now that I think about it.

Four starts to talk. "I'm only 2 lockers away from you also. I'm locker number 38." He says. After he says that, we all have seem to have made it to our lockers. I try to put in my combination, but for some reason, I can't get it open as easily. Ugh. Just my luck. Make a fool out of myself in front of my maybe soon-to-be friends. Great.

Out of my frustration, I kick the locker a couple of times. Suddenly, I hear chuckling coming from straight behind me. I whip around and see Four standing there with an amused look on his face. "You know," he says, "kicking it won't help make it open any sooner." I'm sure I blush a deep color of red, because I hear him chuckle again. I didn't think that anybody ever saw my frustration kick. "Do you need help?" he asks. I bet I blush a darker shade of red, but I nod my head yes.

He puts his hand on the small of my back and pushes me away, gently of course, out of the way of the lock, so he can get to it. "What is your combination?" he asks. I figure that it would just be easier and quicker if I show him my schedule, instead of holding up my fingers. So I do. He tries putting in the combination, just once, and it opens.

I must have an incredulous look on my face because he just laughs. I look up at him then at my locker, hoping he will tell me how he did it. He gets it, just like earlier, and starts to explain. "Well, your locker is like mine. It is in the main area of the heater behind the wall, so it gets stuck real easily. All you have to do to get it open is put pressure on the lower part of the locker. Like, put your knee up against it or something as you open it. You get used to it after a while." He says. Now I feel stupid. Why didn't I think of that? I face palm. He just chuckles again and says, "Should we go to lunch now?" I nod my head yes and we head to the cafeteria.

He leads me there, making sure to give me a gradual tour as we go along. If we pass by one of my classes, he'll point it out and tell me which class it is. Pretty soon, we have made it down to the cafeteria. Then I realize that I still am not hungry. I know I should eat something, but I'm just not hungry. What should I do?! What will they think!? I take a deep breath through my nose and tell myself not to panic or stress over it too much.

I wave bye to Four and he smiles at me and goes toward the lunch line while I go to an extra cart, filled with fruit, ice cream, nachos, sandwiches, and a lot of other things. I think this is the cart for if you don't like the lunch that the school is serving that day. It must be. I get into that line and grab an apple through it. I pay for it at the end of the line and wait for Four to get out of the other lunch line so he can show me where everyone sits.

Soon enough, I see him walk out of it. When he sees me he waves me over and starts to walk toward a table in the back. I follow him to one of the very back tables, where I see a bunch of Dauntless sit. It doesn't surprise me. When we are almost there, I see 4 guys and 1 girl that don't look familiar. 2 of the guys look related...brothers I'm guessing.

Then, I see the girl. She has her head shaved…I wonder why she did that? Her face and eyes are pretty…I bet she would look even more pretty with her natural hair. Who am I to talk though? I did it too…changed my natural hair. I changed and dyed my hair. I wasn't pretty though…so it wouldn't have made a difference on whether or not I did change it.

Then I hear a, "TRIS! Tris! Four! We are over here! C'mon guys!" Christina. I would know that voice anywhere. Plus, no one in their right mind would scream at the top of their lungs at some one less than 5 feet away.

I look over at Four and he has this annoyed look on his face. I don't blame him. I probably have the same look on my face also.

We both sit down. He sits down next to me and 1 of the 2 possible brothers. I sit between him and Christina. Like I had another choice when Christina is here.

"Hey guys! This is Tris. She's the new girl! She's gonna be hanging with us from here on out! She's my new best friend! So. If any of you object to her, you'll have me to mess with me," says Christina. At the last sentence, she has a death glare on her face and I think everyone around the table is frightened that she could make another face than her usual happy, girly one. No one wants to mess with an angry Christina. I mean, I am an awesome fighter and even **I **wouldn't dare to mess with Christina.

The whole table is silent for a little while. Obviously everyone else thinks the same way. DO NOT mess with Christina in her serious state. You could die overnight without knowing what hit you. She's scary, but I've got to admit; the girl can scare the chizz out of people when she needs to.

"No objections? OK. OK. Good. I didn't think there were," says Christina after about 5 minutes of silence. "Now, you can continue your conversations!" she says. Slowly, everyone at the table starts to talk again. I just silently watch and take a bite out of my apple.

They all are constantly laughing with each other and it reminds me of better times. When I was as careless and carefree as them. Without a worry in the world. When someone would always be by my side, no matter what. When I was Beatrice. Sweet, careless, worriless, creative, and fun as them.

Memories start to flood and it seems like each memory is an eternity, when really, it is only a few seconds. Each memory is as painful as the last. Each memory starts to make me think of all of my flaws and how I could've still been living that life if I wouldn't have been as stupid as I was. I should've warned them, I should've spent more time with them, I should've been more aware of real life, I should've done so many things that I didn't. But now it's too late. And the worst part is that I can't change anything. I have to live my shitty life how it is. Nobody can change that. And that's what hurts the most.

Suddenly, everything starts to become too overwhelming and I take my half-eaten apple and run. I run away from the table where they sit laughing, I run away from my thoughts, I run away from cafeteria, I run away from reality. I'm not sure where I will end up, but I'm sure it will probably be Tori. I can't be around anyone else right now. And come to think of it, I don't even want Tori to see what a mess I am. I don't want anyone near me right now. So I keep running. And once again, I am a stupid, ugly, broken little girl, who runs away from her problems, instead of facing them. A stupid, ugly, broken little girl.

**Hey I hoped you liked it! I had writer's block towards the end so I'm sorry if it wasn't what you expected! I'm supposed to be in bed right now, so I'm going to make this quick. I went paintballing with my youth group from church, and the last round we played was capture the flag! I was actually thinking about Divergent the whole time and every time I would get scared to move cause someone on the other team was close to me, I would think "I AM DAUNTLESS!" and run…I actually said it out loud one time and everyone thought I was crazy. Well, except for my friend. She knew what I was talking about and just was laughing her butt off. But I never got hit!;) So that's a good thing! My team won…it was girls against boys!;) GO GIRLS! But I guess that's all…so until next time…SEE YOU! THIS DAUNTLESS GIRL IS OUT! PEACE!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yes…I know it's been a long time. But volleyball season ends on October 11! So in a little bit, I should be updating more often! I swear! And there will be a little bit of Fourtris in this chapter! I think I've made your Fourtris wait long enough!;) So that'****s really all I have to say…so without further ado, here is Chapter 8!:)**

**Disclaimer- **

**Me: Do it Zeke! I'm tired of it!**

**Zeke: Do I get your Dauntless Cake if I do? *Smiles evily***

**Me: *Pretends to think about it* Ok! I promise to give you my Dauntless cake! *Says it while crossing her fingers***

**Zeke: YES! *Didn't see her crossing her fingers* Ok, Aubrey doesn't own any of Divergent or the awesome ZEKE PEDRAD! Now give me your Dauntless cake!**

**Me: *Laughs evil while allowing her crossed fingers to show* BWA HA HA!**

**Zeke: NO! GIVE ME IT! I'm your bestest friend! Please?! **

**Me: Maybe...*Shoves whole thing in her mouth* **

**Zeke: *Tackles her***

**Chapter 8**

**Tris POV**

I keep running, ignoring everyone calling after me. Eventually, I find a dark hallway that I don't think anyone uses anymore. Either that, or no one knows about it. I don't have a problem with either situation.

I start walking now, convinced that no one is following me. I see several doors, and I try to open each one. Every door is locked except for the one furthest down the hallway. I open that one and walk in. It's dark and empty. It looks like really tiny. In fact…it looks TOO tiny to have been an actual room. I think this must lead to another room somehow. Maybe I'm wrong…but I don't think I am.

In Tori's house, I found a secret passageway leading to an awesome little room. It's not very big, but there were beanbag chairs and rugs. It was homey. I go there if I need some alone time. I think I'll probably go there today. Most likely. I don't ever get comfortable though. I don't deserve it. I shoved the chairs and rugs into a corner and left them there to gather up dust.

I found the room not too long ago. It was in the middle of the night when I had just woke up. I woke up because of my daily nightmare. I was trying not to wake Tori up, so I went out to the hallway and ran my fingers along the walls. As I was running my fingers across, I felt a little bump in one of the panels. I stopped and took a closer look and saw that there was a faded outline of a shape. I tried to pull it open.

I did get it open, but when I did, a big cloud of dust blew out of it. I left it open and got a rag, then went back to it and cleaned it up a little. Once I did, I saw a really tiny light at the bottom of it. I decided to investigate. I climbed in and started heading towards the tiny light. Once I got there I saw the little room. It was really cozy and made me feel peaceful for just a second. But then I remembered that I shouldn't deserve peace or coziness and shoved the rugs and bean bag chairs into a corner. I made sure to make it all black. Including the walls. It's the only color I will wear anyways.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I start searching for a crease or a crack in the walls. I mean, there has got to be a secret passage in here! The room can't be THAT small...can it?

I search for about 20 minutes and I almost give up when I feel a crack in the wall that doesn't run the same way as the other panels do. I start to push on it, but it won't budge. I try pulling, but it will won't budge! What else is there to try!

I think a little bit, then I think of sliding the panel. I've tried everything else so it has to be this! If this doesn't work then I must've been wrong about this passage way! I try sliding it to the left and the right. Back and forth, back and forth. I eventually hear a little creak, and start sliding harder.

I work on it for quite awhile, and it eventually opens enough for me to get through. I'm not sure whether to climb in or not though...if I go in I'm afraid I will never come back out. If I leave it open though, no one should close the door and it most definitely will not close on its own, judging on how hard it was to get it open. I decide that I will climb in. I mean, what have I got to lose? Absolutely nothing. Except for my life. But I would actually be grateful if this tunnel took my life. I wouldn't have to live my shitty life anymore. But I can only hope.

I start climbing in, and I'm lucky I don't eat much, because if I did, I wouldn't be able to fit in this thing. I start crawling farther and farther into the darkness and after a long, LONG, time, I finally see a light glowing of into the distance.

The tunnel ceiling starts to slant up, just enough so I can stand and walk the rest of the way. I keep moving, and I hear water. Water? I climbed all this way for WATER! Well, that's just my luck. Bad luck. It probably will never change.

Maybe I'm wrong…I mean, if this was kept a secret, surely there is something amazing. I think? I sure hope. I start walking again. I follow the sound of the water and I soon realize that this must be big, because the water now sounds like a waterfall or maybe even something bigger. I start to think about of all the things it could be, and at first I am thinking about turning back to the tunnel, but I have had enough cowardliness in my life already. I don't need to display anymore. With this thought in my head, I start to pick up my pace, hoping that it will be something worthwhile.

I finally get there and the sight makes me completely stop in my tracks. It's beautiful! There is rushing water, almost like a river. But…it's not a river; it is something more. The water runs forcefully, almost like it is saying, "_Try to stop me. I dare you." _There are jagged rocks running alongside it. Not something that normal people would try to approach_. _But I am obviously NOT normal because I go over to the rocks, searching for one to sit on. I am not normal for countless reasons, but I don't let myself focus on that…for now.

I eventually find a flat enough rock that looks like it could hold a couple of people…3 at the most. It's still pretty sharp at the edges, but it is just as sharp as the razor I face every night. So I'm not afraid of it. It doesn't look the sturdiest, but it will have to do. It's the sturdiest that I could find out of all the rocks. It is right next to the water, so I could put my hand down in it if I wanted to. But right now, I just stick my hand down far enough to feel the mist. It feels refreshing.

I walk around the rock trying to find a way to get on to it. At the back of it, I see that there are rocks smashed into the ground hard enough, that they are sturdy enough to step on as well. So I carefully step onto the rocks, and onto the flat one. I sit down and now allow my mind to think about whatever it would like. Surprisingly, my thoughts are silent right now. That's the first time. I guess this place helps to calm me down. I know my peace won't last forever though, so I keep looking around.

I look up and see a little bridge with railing at least 100 feet up from where I am. There is a walkway leading from the bridge to a big door…that's strange. I wonder if people know about that? If not, I'm happy that I could find a place where I could be alone. With my luck though, it's highly likely that someone else knows about this place. If they know about up top, it's not that bad I guess, but if they know about down here, then that's when it would become a problem for me.

The bridge up there seems like it was made to view this river thing. Then it hits me. It is probably a chasm. It is beautiful, but dangerous. It would take someone brave to come down to where I am. Right next to the water. But I'm not brave. That's my mother.

Mom would have loved this. But she's gone. Gone forever because of my selfishness, my stupidity, and my cowardliness. Same for Dad and Caleb. It's all my fault. I think everyone knows it, they just don't want to say it in front of me. They are all DEAD because of a monster. And that monster is me.

I start to sob. I usually wouldn't, but I know that no one is around, so I am pretty sure that it's safe. I sob and sob and sob. I sob for Mom, Dad, Caleb, my stupid, ugly, broken, little girl self. I sob for Tori, because of Eric, my old "friends", and the new possible "friends" here. I don't think I want any friends. It's too overwhelming. I don't need any boyfriends though…I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid they would turn out to be just like another Eric. I know it's stupid. But I don't care.

The animal-like noises are still coming from my mouth when I hear yelling. I pull my sleeve over my mouth to try and make my sobs quieter, because I know that I can't stop the sobs at this point. Once they come, you can't go back. I know this from experience. The yelling becomes louder and louder and soon I can hear what they are saying. "Tris! TRIS! Where are you! Please!" they yell. I can pick out certain voices from the group. I can hear Christina, Four, Shauna, Marlene, and Tori. Wait-TORI! Oh no. I'm screwed. When I go home, I have a feeling that I am going to be in deep shit. Whoops.

But even this can't make my sobs silence. In fact, my sobs get harder, as they come closer. I shove my shirt sleeve farther and farther into my mouth, but it doesn't do much good. I hear Tori yell, "Tris!" She is using her angry voice. She knows I'm here somewhere. This can't be good. What threat will she use this time? "TRIS! DON'T MAKE ME USE YOUR FULL NAME!" she yells. Wow. That's the best she could come up with? I know that she would never do that to me, no matter HOW angry she is.

I hear their footsteps come closer and closer until they are right on top of me. They are on the bridge. Okay, so they must know about the bridge. But I sure hope they don't know about the passageway down here. I would be even more screwed over if Tori found out that I was hiding from them the whole time. Oh boy. I'm suddenly very glad that they can't see me from their view on the bridge. Thank you only sturdy rock.

"Where is she? I hope she is ok!" That was Christina. "OH, she's fine. She's just hiding. What happened exactly? Why did she run off in the first place?" Tori. "I don't know. She was eating an apple one minute, then tears filled her eyes and she got up, threw her apple in the trash, which was only half-eaten, and ran. I don't think I've ever seen someone move faster." Shauna… "Ya. She was sitting right next to me the whole time. The next thing I knew, she was off like a light." Four. Wait-what? FOUR! Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This can NOT be happening to me!

"You know what? We probably aren't doing much good together. How about if we split up? That way we can cover more area." That was Tori. Even though I can't see her, I know that there is a worried expression on her face. I can tell by the tone of her voice. "I think that's a good idea. Since we've already covered this area, should we leave this place and search other areas?" Shauna. "Ya, I think that would be a good idea Shauna." Tori again. "Ok. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go! No time to waste!" And that was Christina.

I hear the footsteps walking away from the bridge and off to who knows where. Once I think it's safe enough, I remove my sleeve and let my sobs run freely once again. I don't know how long I am sobbing for, but I bet it is a while. I suddenly hear "Tris? Tris! Is that you!?" Oh shit. That was FOUR! I hear his footsteps coming closer, and this time, they aren't on top of the bridge. How much worse can this day get!? First, I run off. Then I know that I am screwed when I face Tori. Then, just when I thought I was in the clear, someone ends up knowing the same passageway that I just found! AND, IT WAS FOUR! Ok. Life must really hate me. I know I messed up too big a couple of years ago, but really?! Just cause I can't let it go doesn't mean that Karma or life has to come back to get me every minute of my life! Ugh.

I once again shove my already soaking shirtsleeve into my mouth and wait. If he comes close enough, I will try to make a run for it. Although if he does come to where I'm at, it isn't very likely that I will get away. Karma really is a bitch sometimes. But life is a whore. Karma is a bitch and life is depressing. And what a slut time is. She screws everybody.

I keep on sobbing into my shirt sleeve, hoping and praying that he won't find me. But I should know, my prayers are never answered. Never. Not even when it is life or death. That shows you how much God loves me. Note the sarcasm.

"Tris?" He says. Then he suddenly comes out of the tunnel door. Of course someone else knew about this place. Four. Of course. Thank you God! Once again, note the sarcasm. If he comes close enough, I will try to make a run for it. Although if he does come to where I'm at, it isn't very likely that I will get away. I hear him coming closer and closer and I can actually _see _him heading right towards me! Oh no. If I'm going to make a run for it, now would be the time.

I get up off my rock as fast as I can and start to run. I wasn't very careful though, because I got off on the sharp side of the rock, instead of the less dangerous side. I feel a sharp stinging on my left leg. It feels like it is on fire and it hurts like hell. I know this can't be good. I still keep on running though.

I'm not as fast now because of my leg. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I am pretty sure that I either cut it or scraped it. I'm limping while I run so it is more of a walk than a run. I feel something wet start to drip down my leg and immediately know that it's bleeding. My suspicions were right; I did cut it. I cut it deep too. I hear fast footsteps catching up to me. I know that I can't beat him at this pace, but I am still gonna keep running. He's catching up to me…and fast. I know it's only a matter of seconds before he can grab me. I. am. SCREWED.

I hear him yell, "Tris! Wait! Please! I don't know what happened, but I know something isn't right! Please let me help you!" I know he is just trying to be nice, but I can't take it right now. Nice has completely vanished from my life after that day. I don't deserve it. This just makes my tears stream down heavier than before. Damn me and all these tears. Why does life have to always turn against me!?

I hear him right behind me. "Tris. Stop." The burning in my leg is getting more painful by the second. I still try to keep walking, but I soon collapse on the ground. I would try to get back up, but I can't. I'm too tired and weak to do anything right now, other than look at the ground while tears keep streaming down my face. They are slowing down, but I know that it's not the end of my tears.

I can see him kneel down in front of me. "Listen, I'm not sure what happened back there, but I need to help. I don't know what happened to make you run off like that. I don't know how you found this place. I don't know a lot of things about you yet. But that's the thing. I don't need to know. The only thing I need to know is that I can help you. Please, just this once, let me help you."

The gentleness in Four'd voice makes me want to burst out sobbing all over again. It reminds me of Caleb and Dad. Their voice would always be like that when I was hurt or sick. That voice would make me want to break out into tears. It's the same with Four.

But there is something about him that makes me feel like I can trust him. My instincts are telling me not to trust anyone ever again, while my mind and body are saying that I'm too weak to do anything but accept his help. So that's what I do. Sort of.

After thinking all of that, I start to sob again. I try to stuff my sleeve into my mouth, but I can't even do that without feeling like I'm going to pass out. I think I've had too much blood loss. I don't care though. I hope it takes me somewhere from Earth, so I can be with Mom and Dad and Caleb again. I hope Four doesn't notice my leg, but of course, being perfect Four, he just HAS to notice the gash.

"Tris...let me look at the wound. Please." Four says. I look into his eyes and see a pleading and worriness inside. He looks genuinely concerned about me. I know that he wouldn't let me die on the spot, so I oblige. It's not something worth fighting about. Like I have any fight left in me at this point.

I look at him and nod my head. He asks me, "Tris, can you walk?" I know I can't, but I nod my head yes again and try to stand up. I'm stubborn and I know it. I'm not gonna lie. I know this isn't the time or place to be stubborn, but I can't help it. I feel so helpless and I hate it. I push myself up on my knees, then slowly try to rise. I can feel myself getting paler and paler by the minute. I finally get to a standing position, leaning mostly on my right leg.

"You ok Tris? Are you sure you can walk? I can carry you if I need to. You are scaring me! You are deathly pale!" Four exclaims all at once. I love that he is only genuinely concerned, but it annoys me nevertheless. I want to do something on my own! I nod my head yes and take a deep breath, preparing myself for the next painful step.

"Ok...Tris. We need to move so I can look at it. I'm afraid you're gonna pass out right here, right now. Please start walking towards the rock where you first were." Four says. I nod my head and start to walk. I take the first step with my left leg and am amazed by how painful it is. I can feel the blood rush out of my face as quick as a rocket. It is kind of scaring me too. I let out a little scream.

I almost collapse again, but Four's arms caught me before I had the chance. He looks even more worried. "Tris! Please let me carry you!" He says. I have an internal battle with myself. If I accept his help, then I would be basically declaring my weakness. If I don't, though, I will most likely pass out from blood loss. Four would have to bring me to a hospital and explain to them what happened when he doesn't even know. I don't want to go back to a damn hospital, so I know that I have to let him carry me to the rock.

I look at him and realize that he is still supporting me from the ground. If he took his arms off my waist, I would topple over to the ground. I think he knows that too. So I look him in the eyes and slowly nod my head. Four looks relieved as I nod, probably because I am completely white right now and can't even support part of my weight without support.

He slowly and carefully picks me up off of the ground, trying to avoid my leg as much as possible. But that is nearly impossible...even for Four. My thoughts come true as he accidentally hits my gash. I let out a groan as a couple of tears run down my cheeks. My gash feels like fire right now, and it stings. It feels like a knife was slid down my leg repeatedly; up and down, up and down, many times.

"Sorry!" Four says. He finally gets me situated and we start moving. He is carrying me bridal style, so I'm leaning against his chest. I can feel a little bit of color start to return to my cheeks, now that I don't have to move anything. It's not much color, but it's something.

I put my hand on his chest and try to focus on getting my color back to my face. It doesn't work...I can feel it. I know I am still ghostly white, but not as bad as before. i am really tired, but I force myself to keep my eyes open, no matter how hard it may be. I focus on his heartbeat instead.

I place my head his chest, using it as a resting place for my head, and to hear his heartbeat. When I listen, I find that it was speeding really fast. I wonder if it's because of how Four is holding me. No it's not! His heart is probably racing because he is concerned about my pale face. He would never care about a stupid, ugly, broken,- I need to stop thinking about that...the color is leaving my face again.

We reach the rock and he sets me down so I'm laying on the rock. I hiss in pain as I lay against it. The gash must be somewhere around my calves if it hurts to lay down. He looks apologetic, as he starts searching for the gash. He takes out a pocket knife from his jeans and brings it down towards me.

I start to freak out a little, but all I can do is widen my eyes. Maybe he is like Eric. Maybe no one is different from the people at my old school. What if he uses that pocket knife against me?

I start to whimper and scream as flashbacks start to come to me. I see Eric, my ex-best friend, and my family over and over again. I try to punch Four, but I fail...badly. I cannot seem to summon the strength to scream, let alone raise my arm to hit someone.

I hear Four trying to call me back to reality. He sounds worried again. It takes a lot of willpower, but I finally am able to pull myself out of my flashbacks. I look at him and he still has that worried expression on his face. "Tris! Don't freak out! I'm just going to use it to cut your pant leg off! I need to so I can look at your gash!" I hear Four say.

I feel him put his hands on my shoulders...probably to keep me as still as he possibly can. "Tris, please calm down. You're only going to hurt yourself more!" He says. I finally realize that he is telling the truth. He want going to cut me. He's just trying to help. So I relax under his touch.

He breathes a sigh of relief and lets go of my shoulders. "Ok. Can I cut the pant leg off now?" He asks me. I nod my head yes. He gets the pocketknife out once again and brings it toward the bottom of my calves. I can't help it. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn my head away. Eric gave me big problems...another reason why I shouldn't exist.

I hear a ripping sound but still keep my eyes squeezed shut. A couple of seconds later I hear Four say, "Tris you can look now. It's over." I slowly open my eyes only to see his dark blue ones staring right back into mine. "I'm going to look at it now. It might hurt, but I need you to do what I say. You're losing too much blood too quickly. Ok Tris?" I nod my head.

He gently flips me over on the rock. I can hear a sharp intake of breath. It must be pretty bad if it surprised Four. "Um..Tris? What I need to do next is gonna hurt really bad ok? I won't lie to you. You might want to put something in your mouth if you don't want anyone else finding you." He says. I take a s deep breath and put my shirt sleeve into my mouth..again.

"I'm going to put pressure on it to help stop the bleeding. But your cut is pretty deep so it will hurt more than usual." Four says. I suddenly feel tightening around my lower calf. It hurts so much..it feels like the knife came back, but only 100 times harder than it was before. I scream into my sleeve as it keeps tightening. I want to tell him to stop, but if I did we would never get anywhere. So I decide to let this go.

After a few more seconds, it stops tightening. "I'm done now Tris. You ok?" I clench my teeth and stiffly nod. "I would clean it up with Alcohol or Hydrogen Peroxide but I don't have that stuff with me right now. So I will get it in just a couple of minutes. Will you be ok alone for a couple of minutes?" I don't want him to leave, but I know he needs to. I know I'm still pale. So I nod. He simply nods and says, "Ok. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

As he walks off, I start to think about Eric again. I hate thinking about him, but he left scars. Both physically and emotionally. I try to get up so I can sit in the corner under the bridge. I get up to a sitting position and wait for my vision to come back. Once it does, I slowly stand up and limp my way over to a corner. I can walk on it better now that it has stopped bleeding a little bit. Well..it's more of a limp than a walk, but it's something.

Eric comes back to mind. I remember all of the fun times we had together before he turned out to be an ass-hole. Comparatively speaking, I think that the percentage of fun times against the horrible times is about 5% to 8%. Now if you were adding you'd notice that it doesn't equal 100. The other 10% was the most HORRIBLE days of my life that regret so much it hurts. I regret ever being with him. I regret giving him second chances. I regret not breaking it off with him after the very first date. I regret what happened at the end of every fight we had. It was not good.

I start silently crying. I put my head in my knees and cry. I was so stupid and naive back then. I didn't have a worry in the world...but then my whole life turned around within the blink of an eye. Eric turned on me, my friends turned on me, my town turned on me, and life turned on me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was so stupid. I think about all this as I start sobbing into my knees even more. I definitely didn't remember that I want gonna be alone for long, because pretty soon I hear a huge sigh come from in front of me. "Oh Tris," the person mumbles softly. In fact, I wouldn't have heard it if I wouldn't have been listening closely. I am a suspicious and self-conscious person, so listening closely comes to me naturally. The person in front of me is Four. I know it is and I care that he had to see me like this. I really do, but I can't stop the tears flowing down my face now.

I hear Four walk away and some things being set down. Probably the cleaning stuff for my calf. Then I hear him come back over. I feel one of his hands rest on my shoulder. "Tris, please look at me." I don't. I refuse to acknowledge him in this state. I don't want him to leave me, but I don't want him to stay. Whenever he's around I think of Eric. But he also makes me feel like I can trust him and that I'm safe as long as I'm with him. I just don't know anything anymore.

I hear him let out another small sigh. "Tris..." he says. "Look at me." I can hear the pleading in his voice. I still can't though. I can't go back to the way my old school and past was. If I did it would break me completely. And I wouldn't be able to handle that again. "Tris." The tone in his voice is now stern. I feel his fingers tuck under my chin and gently lost my chin up so I am forced to look into his beautiful blue eyes. "Tris..." I don't think he knows exactly what to say. I am still sobbing my eyes out. It's gotta be awkward for him to be in this position. I definitely wouldn't want to be in this position if the situation were flip-flopped.

He slowly takes both of his hands off of me, and extend them outwards just a little bit. "Come here. I know you probably don't usually have a shoulder to cry on. It's better to let it out then hold it in." He says. I think about what he just said. He is right...I don't ever have a shoulder to cry on. Unless you count Tori. But usually when I cry it's not in front of her. It would be nice to have someone I could trust. But I'm just afraid that he will turn out like Eric. I know deep in my heart that he won't, but it doesn't stop my fears from getting to me.

I know that I should accept his offer. I need it. If I don't ever accept anybody ever again, then Tori will send me to a therapist of some sort and I don't want that. I might as well try to start now. Besides...Four found me and helped me and handled my stubbornness with patience. I think of I start to trust again, then Four would be a good way to start. So I do. I decide to start to learn to trust him, little by little. Step by step. I know that he won't think of me the same once he knows my story, but I feel like I at least need to have one moment in my life where I can be content.

I look up at him and start to crawl into his embrace. It's really hard when my calf but I want to let him know that I accept his offer. Once he knows for sure that I'm going into his arms, he helps me since my calf is hurting me badly right now. So badly. But he picks me up easily and sets me against his chest. I press my face into his shoulder and continue to sob into his shirt. I wrap my arms tightly around his middle section. He we just wraps his arms tighter around my waist. He doesn't say anything but that's ok. No words are needed right now. All I need is the feeling of his arms around me. He places his chin on top of my head and I let it stay there. Every move we make means getting one step closer in each other's arms. I wish that I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever. Because when I'm in his arms, I don't need to worry about anything else in the world. I know that this moment will end sooner or later, but I don't worry about that now.

I'm not sure how long we'll sit here; under the bridge, in the peacefulness of the water rushing in the chasm, the sounds of my muffled sobs, wrapped up in each other's tight embraces. But I know that it will be quite a while before both of us decide to move. A long, long time.

**So I know I haven't updated for a while. I have been typing whenever I could! A couple of nights ago, Iwas typing on my iPod in bed and I must have fallen asleep because I woke up and my iPod was laying on my chest. And I had a dance for school last night along with a sleepover right afterwards. I was typing at 4:30 in the morning last night(while watching Hannah Montana) for you guys because I really wanted to update! I'm supposed to be taking a nap right now and I am so freaking tired. But I am updating now! I started to type on my iPod and it said it was low on battery but I ignored it. Later, it died and lost all 500 words I had typed. I was so bad! I thought about just not topping but then I changed my mind. So here's your update! And in my AN at the top...the second Fourtris is the 46th word...Hehe. I did that on purpose!;) Also see if you Canaan find the 2 quotes I put in here!:) Please review, favorite and follow! I love seeing the reviews and support you guys give me! The more reviews I get the faster I'll update! I get more motivated!;) And you'll find out about Eric next chapter!:)**

**P.S. This chapter is the longest one yet at 6,557 words!:) YES!:):) And would you guys like to see this chapter in Tobias'/Four POV? **

**Guest #10: I was thinking about doing Tobias' POV...I just didn't know if I could do one yet in his POV. Until now. I might do Christian's POV later...I don't know how I would do it right now. But I will in later chapters! Promise!:)**

**kitzykat: I keep meaning to tell you that I'm definitely using your idea! Thanks!:)**

**Guest #5: Thanks for the constructive criticism! I've been trying to do better!**

**Lost1nTheLight: EVERYBODY WHO IS READING THIS NEEDS TO THANK HER! SHE Gave ME WONDERFUL IDEAS FOR THIS CHAPTER! You see...I had writer's block and she helped me though it! Without her I wouldn't be using right now!:) So here is a toast to the girl who helped with writer's block! *Everybody raises their glasses and yells* (I like putting in brackets too by the way;) )**

**Divergent Kitty: Haha! That's one of my favorite scenes too! Here's a high five from me to you electronically!;)**

**Someone the World Forgot: Thanks for telling me!:) I didn't even realize!;)**

**Idshipus007: Tris will talk. I promise! Once her and For get a little closer she will start talking! I can't tell you exactly when that will be...but it will be sometime soon! I promise! And sorry it made you sad! But it will be a happy ending!:) **

**luzhasswag: I will be able to update more often after 1 more week! Can you hold on that long!? Please! I have a volleyball game Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and NCKL on Saturday and Sunday, which I may or may not be able to go to. But the good thing is of I do go to NCKL, my grandparents live close, so on long breaks, I could type at their house!:) But I will try harder! I promise!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! So volleyball season is finally over. :( But that's also a good thing because I can type for you guys more now! I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY THAT I DIDN'T UPDATE SOONER! My friend had an unexpected surgery on her knee, so I have been with her a lot, plus she is supposed to be coming to school so have to help her with homework and junk like that…and I had a volleyball tournament, I had to babysit for 2-3 hours last night, and I have been just so busy! Plus, while I was writing on Doc Manager, it screwed up and deleted over 1,000 words I had typed. I cried. I threw my iPod. I. Was. PO. And I went bowling with a bunch of my classmates and friends after school. And my grandparents spent the night last night and I had another sleepover on Friday. But anyways... I hope you can forgive me with this chapter I typed for you! I tried this chapter in Four/Tobias' POV, but I'm not sure if I did it alright…I am not used to writing in a boy's POV. Please tell me what I could've done better and what I did well. Cause I will write in his POV again so I want to know how to do better next time around! ;) So please review! :0 Without further ado…CHAPTER 9!**

**Disclaimer: Ok. So if I owned Divergent, I would not be in school. AND I wouldn't be writing Fan fiction…now would I?**

**Chapter 9**

**Four/Tobias' POV**

As Tris and I sit down at the lunch table, I can't help noticing how closed off she is from everyone. She observes every move that anyone makes and looks like she is cautious around everyone…like one wrong move and something will blow up. It's like she doesn't even know what friends are.

She is mysterious, careful, and doesn't talk, which makes me wonder what ever happened to make her like that. Maybe she was abused…like me. Surely not though… I was abused for ages and still talk and I made friends. It must have been something having to deal with friends or family…I hope. No one should have to be abused by their OWN family. It just isn't right. That's why I don't call Marcus "dad". He doesn't deserve that.

I start to talk to Zeke, but I still wonder about Tris. What happened to her? I look over at her every once in a while. I am suddenly being pulled into a conversation with everyone about last week's paintball match. In that match, Uriah got shot in the butt by Zeke and I, so when Marlene brings it up, everyone starts laughing hysterically. Even Uriah does.

I look back over at Tris while I am laughing and see her eyes start to well up with tears. What did we do!? I see her get up and run off. She has a half-eaten apple in her hand and I see her throw it away as she goes. She didn't eat barely anything! What happened!?

Everybody must've seen this too, because we all look at each other and get up and run. I can tell everyone is worried about her even if we haven't even known her for a day. Uriah even leaves half of his Dauntless cake behind. Wow…I never thought I'd see the day! "Guys, wait!" I say. Everyone stops to look at me. "Have you ever thought that we may need a teacher? I mean, we need access to all the rooms we can get to." "Ya…I guess we do. Who should we recruit?" Uriah says. "I think we all know this." Shauna says. Of course we do.

We all run to Tori's room. She's pretty cool, even though she's new here. She's the best teacher for this job! Once we get there, we all burst in shouting different things. It's so jumbled and loud that I can't hear myself speak. "WAIT! SHUT UP!" Tori shouts. We all shut up instantly. "Now I need one person to explain to me what the heck is happening!?" Uriah steps up. "Well, Tris ran off at lunch. Where to? I don't know. We need access to a lot of rooms and we knew you would be the best teacher to help us look and everything…so…here we are now. We've got to find her!" Then he mumbles, "I left my Dauntless cake behind for this." Of course. I roll my eyes. I knew he would remember his cake sooner or later. Unfortunately, it was sooner.

Tori noticeably paled when Uriah explained that Tris ran off. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because she's new and could get hurt? No...Tori could handle that. I don't know why she paled white as a ghost, but I will find out most likely. Tori says, "Well...what are we waiting for? Let's go find Tris!" She grabs a set of keys as we run out the door. For a teacher, she is pretty fit. She runs just as fast as us, maybe even faster than some. We try door after door, but there is absolutely no sign of her at all. Then I remember the Pit. She obviously wouldn't have run off if she wanted to be found right away. She went some place where she knew she wouldn't be found for a long time. I tell this to the group. "Hey guys! We need to check somewhere like the Pit! Only the Dauntless know about it, but nobody goes there during school most of the time. It's hard to find. She probably went there or somewhere else where she knew she couldn't be found." I say. Everyone sits there for a minute, taking the idea in. Tori nods her head and says, "Yes. That's probably a great place to search." So we head to the Pit.

We get there and start searching every shop, every room, just everywhere you could possibly imagine. We even check behind the dang fake plants. But she's not there! You can tell that Tori is getting mad. "TRIS!" Christina yells. We all look at her like she's crazy. She just shrugs and says, "I know it isn't the best idea, but this is what it's come down to. Why not? What have we got to lose? Tris, Please!" I guess the idea isn't bad.

We all start to yell things like Christina. Although we all know she probably won't answer, we keep calling for her until we reach the chasm bridge. Once we get there, we all stop. Tori even yells, "TRIS! DON'T MAKE ME USE YOUR FULL NAME!" Wait…how does she know her full name? And why is that a threat? Just another couple of things I don't know.

Once we get to the bridge, we all stop and think for a second. Christina is panicking. "Where is she? I hope she is ok!" she is yelling. And although she is the only saying this out loud, I can tell that everyone else is thinking the same thing. Where is Tris? Where could she have possibly run off to? I hope she's not hurt…at least not TOO badly. I think Christina would hyperventilate if she was. I hear Tori reply, "OH. She's fine. She's just hiding." Then her facial expression changes from frustration to worry and confusion. "What happened exactly? Why did she run off in the first place?" she asks us, looking at each one of us for an explanation. Shauna steps up first.

"I don't know. She was eating an apple one minute, then tears filled her eyes and she got up, threw her apple in the trash, which was only half-eaten, and ran. I don't think I've ever seen someone move faster." she says. Yep. That's about right. Tris was fast...and so perfect.

I think I may be falling for Tris. I'm not sure when I started to, but I have feeling that it was when I first met her. She isn't like other girls...AT ALL. That's a good thing. She didn't throw herself at me (like others would do as soon as they met me), stare at me, talk to me every chance she got, dress like a slut, and she isn't the type of girl who would care about popularity or fashion. Just like my dream girl. Tris meets all of my standards and more. She is so perfect.

It's then that I realize that I don't know how long I've been thinking about her. So to recover I say, "Ya. She was sitting right next to me the whole time. The next thing I knew, she was off like a light."

Apparently I haven't been in my world for long at all because Tori just nods and goes deep into thought. I see several emotions flick across her face while she thinks; worry, confusion, frustration, guilt, regret, and sadness. Wow...I never thought that anybody could show so many emotions in one minute! It must be a record. Finally she snaps out of her daze and says, "You know what? We probably aren't doing much good together. How about if we split up? That way we can cover more area."

That idea isn't bad. In fact, I think if I were Tris, I wouldn't hide in an obvious spot where the whole group could find me. I would go somewhere no one would think to look. Besides, maybe if one of us finds her and she runs off, she'll run off into someone else. Hopefully I am the one to find her though.

I hear Shauna say, "I think that's a good idea. Since we've already covered this area, should we leave this place and search other areas?" Tori immediately replies with, "Ya, I think that would be a good idea Shauna." Then Christina says, "Ok. Then what are we waiting for? Let's go! No time to waste!" Everyone runs in a different direction except for me. I decide to just think on the bridge for a second before deciding where to go.

As I am listening, I hear muffled sobs coming from right below me. Wait...what? I listen closer and hear them more clearly. They then get really loud as they aren't muffled anymore. I know it has to be Tris...I mean who else would be crying in the middle of class while being under the Pit bridge? Exactly my point.

I know I have to get down there. The only way I can think of is the secret tunnel that I found that led to the bottom of the chasm. So I decide to look there.

I know I have to get down there. The only way I can think of is the tunnel. So I decide to look there. What have I got to lose if it's not Tris? Besides, I'm worried about her and no one else knows about under the Chasm except for me and possibly Tris; so no one would figure out where we were.

I start to head down to the tunnel. I exit the Pit and go to the empty classroom where I know the tunnel is. Once I get there, my suspicions are confirmed. The panel is open and I see the tunnel leading to the Chasm. I crawl in and start to run through. It's a pretty long tunnel, but it isn't as long as usual because I am sprinting. I can tell I am getting towards the end because I can hear the water crashing into the walls and the light is getting bigger by the second. I slow down knowing I will probably have to chase after Tris…I am pretty sure that she didn't want anybody to find her. So I walk to the end of the tunnel.

I am at the end finally, but I don't see Tris. All I can hear is sobs coming from my left. Well…I need to find her so I start walking out to the very end and call out, "Tris?" As I say this I step out of the tunnel. I know she's to the left, so I start walking to the left. Towards her hopefully. I hear shuffling and see a blonde-headed girl start running. But the thing that worries me is that I see a limp in her step. A large limp to be exact.

I run after her. I am catching up fast and I know that she knows it too. But for some reason, she still runs. She is going to hurt herself more running. I yell, "Tris! Wait! Please! I don't know what happened, but I know something isn't right! Please let me help you!" But she still runs.

I am finally right behind her and I can see a large blood stain on the back of her leg. I try not to panic. "Tris. Stop." I say. She is walking still but she can take only a few steps before she collapses right in front of me. I kneel down in front of her. "Listen, I'm not sure what happened back there, but I need to help. I don't know what happened to make you run off like that. I don't know how you found this place. I don't know a lot of things about you yet. But that's the thing. I don't need to know. The only thing I need to know is that I can help you. Please, just this once, let me help you."

It looks like she is having a conversation with her thoughts…she is distant. After about a minute though, she starts sobbing. I don't know why, but I'm sure that everything that has happened has just caught up to her. I can see she tries to stuff her sleeve back into her mouth but she can't…her arm just drops down right away, like she is too weak to do it. I look down at her gash and slightly gasp once I see the dripping blood coming from it. I need to tend the wound right now.

"Tris…let me look at the wound. Please." I say pleadingly. I am very worried about her. She doesn't think about it for a minute…she just nods her head, which makes me even more worried because I know that she wouldn't usually give up without a fight. I ask her, "Tris, can you walk?" She nods her head again, but I know she can't. I don't even know why I asked in the first place. Well actually yes I do. She would've hated me if I just picked her up without asking if she could walk. She would automatically think that I thought she was weak and hate me. Ya...thank you instincts. For being righter than my mind.

She starts to get up and I just start getting more worried by the second. She slowly sits up, then after about 3 minutes, she is up on her feet. As she does this, her skin tone turns to a deathly pale. She is shaking. I shout, "You ok Tris! Are you sure you can walk? I can carry you if I need to. You are scaring me! You are deathly pale!" I am very worried now. But all she does is nod her head again. She is making me frustrated! We need to move faster than this!

"Ok...Tris. We need to move so I can look at it. I'm afraid you're gonna pass out right here, right now. Please start walking towards the rock where you first were." I say. She takes a very slow step, and I didn't think it was possible, but somehow her skin tone turns to a perfect white color. She lets out a little scream. She almost collapses, but I catch her just in time. This crosses the line. "Tris! Please let me carry you!"

She looks like she is having an internal debate. I am holding her waist while she is debating. Finally, she looks me in the eyes and slowly nods her head. I feel so relieved, like a weight has been suddenly lifted off my shoulders. I pick her up as carefully as I can, trying to avoid her leg. I am apparently unsuccessful though, because after a second, she lets out a small groan and a couple tears run down her face. "Sorry!" I exclaim. I do feel really bad, but I have to keep going.

I decide to carry her bridal style because it is the fastest and easiest way. I see that I little bit of her color returned to her face. Good. But I still see her grimacing and I can feel my heart speed up a little as I race to the rock. My heart also speeds up because of her being against my chest. it's cliché I know. But I can't help it. I look back down and I see the color has left her face again for some odd reason.

When we reach the rock, I gently set her down. As I do this, I see that she hisses in pain…the gash must around her calf. I once again feel like saying sorry, but remember that it won't do any good, so I just leave the situation be. I know I won't be able to get good access to her gash because her pant leg is covering it up. So I grab the pocket knife that I always keep in my jeans pocket, just in case, and bring it down to cut the pant leg off.

When I start to bring it down, I see Tris' eyes widen in fear and hear small whimpers coming from her that were probably meant to be screams if she wasn't too weak. She is squirming away from me, and while she does it I see her arm raise maybe a couple inches off the ground while the fingers were balled up in a fist but immediately drop down. I think it was supposed to be a punch…but she obviously couldn't find the strength. I need to calm her down, otherwise she will most likely pass out from blood loss soon. I start calling for her. "Tris! Tris! Come back to me! Come on!" I see her eyes start to focus on me and I know that this is the time to calm her down and say something meaningful. "Tris! Don't freak out! I'm just going to use it to cut your pant leg off! I say. She still is whimpering and moving though, so I grab her shoulders gently, but with enough force to keep her as still as possible while I explain. "Tris! Don't freak out! I'm just going to use it to cut your pant leg off!" I say.

I don't know what triggered her little episode, but it isn't my business. Im not sure if i want to know. well that was a stupid statement. of course I wanna know why it triggered, but am afraid of what the answer may be. Slowly, her eyes start to come into focus more and more, and her movement slows down. She is still tense though. Eventually, I feel her suddenly relax under my arms. I breathe a sigh of relief and say, "Ok. Can I cut the pant leg off now?" I ask, making sure that she won't react like that again. She nods her head yes.

I take out the knife once again and start to cut her pant leg off. I can't help but notice that she squeezes her eyes shut and turns her head away though. I don't know what happened to her, but it had to be something really, REALLY bad if she reacts like this to knives…even when she knew I wasn't going to hurt her. And when it is just a simple pocket knife.

After I cut it off, I look at Tris and see that her eyes are still shut. I say, "Tris you can look now. It's over." Her eyes open and I stare right into them. They would look blue from a distance, but up close you can see the grayish tint mixed perfectly inside the blue orbs.

I snap out of it and know that I will have to stop the bleeding as much as possible until I can get proper cleaning supplies, so I think that I will just apply some pressure on it. The gash is on the back of her calf…I will have to turn her over to look at it. She's losing too much blood too fast, so that's exactly what I tell her. "I'm going to look at it now. It might hurt, but I need you to do what I say. You're losing too much blood too quickly. Ok Tris?" She looks a little bit worried but nods her head yes, as if remembering that she needs to do what I say right now.

I gently flip her over and look for the gash. Once I find it, I can't help but gasp slightly at the sight. It is bleeding profusely and is pretty deep…I don't think it is deep enough for stiches, but you never know. I then say, "Um…Tris? What I need to do next is gonna hurt really bad ok? I won't lie to you. You might want to put something in your mouth if you don't want anyone else finding you." I hear her take a deep breath and see her arm move to stuff her shirt sleeve into her mouth.

I take this as my go ahead. So I take the pant leg and dip it into the Chasm to rinse off some of the blood, then I wrap it around her leg and start to tighten it. I can hear Tris scream into her sleeve, which both worries and relieves me. It worries me because…well I bet you can guess why. But it also relieves me because I know earlier she was trying to scream, but could only emit a small whimper. So if she can scream now, then she must be getting some strength back.

I'm done now so I say, "I'm done now Tris. You ok?" She stiffly nods her head yes. I can see that her jaw is clenched as well. She must be grinding her teeth.

I have tightened it pretty well, but know that I will need something to clean the wound with. I don't have it with me though, so I would either have to take Tris with me to get a First Aid Kit, or leave her here while I run and get it. I know the first option would be impossible, so I know that the latter is the only option I have left. I don't want to leave her, but I know that I will have to for the greater good. It worries me though, because she is still pretty pale.

I finally say, "I would clean it up with Alcohol or Hydrogen Peroxide but I don't have that stuff with me right now. So I will get it in just a couple of minutes. Will you be ok alone for a couple of minutes?" She nods. I nod too, and say, "Ok. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." She doesn't do anything after that, so I just run off, trying to find the First Aid Kit I had down here at one point of time. I run to the part of the Chasm where the rocks are stacked on one another and find the First Aid Kit between 2 rocks. I grab it and walk just for a little bit back in the direction where I know Tris is.

I'm not worried that she'll run away…she couldn't right now in her state. She may move, but she won't get very far. I am just worried about her in general. I'm worried what happened to her in the past and I worry about whether her past isn't her past and it's her present. That whatever she may be going through is happening to her at home. I worry that she will not be okay and eventually run away or disappear, never to be seen again. I worry that she will never be able to move on from her past or present and be in this state of fear and cautiousness all her life. I worry that she-

I suddenly am pulled out of my thoughts by seeing Tris under the bridge, head in her knees. She must've moved while I was gone. Once I get closer, I can hear her crying. It sounds soft. But I keep moving until I am right in front of her. Once I am there, I know that her crying isn't soft. She is sobbing loudly. For some reason, I feel like I knew that this would happen at some point. Why? I don't know. But it turns out my instincts were right. Again. Huh. What do ya know?

I am now standing right in front of her. From here I can see that her entire knee is soaked with her tears. "Oh Tris," I mumble softly.

I walk back to the rock and set the First Aid Kit down and walk back over to Tris. I kneel down in front of her and put one of my hands on her shoulder. Then I say, "Tris, please look at me." But she doesn't. I know she heard me though. She's just ignoring me. I sigh. I try again. "Tris...look at me." I say. I can hear the pleading tone in my voice.

I usually don't like being seen like this, but I don't care when I am with Tris for one reason or another. She is still refusing to acknowledge me. If pleading won't make her look at me then I will have to be stern. "Tris." I say. Just saying her name won't make her listen though, so on second thought I bring my other hand up, tuck my fingers gently beneath her chin and raise it up, forcing her blue-gray eyes to look into mine.

She is still sobbing her eyes out and it's then that I realize tht I have no clue what to say next. The only thing I can summon is a simple, "Tris..." I trail off at the end of her name just in case I think of something to say. But I don't. If I can't think of anything to SAY to her, then I need to at least DO something.

I think I should hug her. Wait-WHAT? What am I thinking!? I can't hug her! _But you like her. Just hug her. It will be in the spur of the moment._ No! I can't!...Can I? I focus on her eyes again and know that behind those eyes is the story of her past. I look into them intently and see pain, fear, and numbness. I can tell she doesn't usually have a shoulder to cry on. I know the feeling. It is a horrible feeling. _Exactly. Wouldn't you feel horrible if you didn't hug her? Just hug her gosh DANGIT! C'mon!_ I guess I would feel pretty bad if I didn't do anything. But what if she doesn't want a hug?

I quickly come to a decision. I will give her the choice to come or not. If she does, then I can hug her. If not, no harm done right? So I extend my arms slightly and say, "Come here. I know you probably don't usually have a shoulder to cry on. It's better to let it out than hold it in." I can tell she's having an internal debate. She looks at me several times. After about a minute, something in her eyes softens slightly and she starts to move. I'm not sure if she's moving towards me or not, but after a few more seconds, it's obvious that she is making her way to me.

I can tell that her calf is hurting her real bad, so I help her carefully make it to me. Once she is right in front of me, I pick her up and set her against my chest. I feel her press her face into my shoulder and sob into it. She wraps her frail arms around my stomach area. As she does this, I tighten my arms around her waist, afraid to let go. I quickly look down to her calf, and am relieved that most of the bleeding has stopped. So we have time. Plenty of time. I let out a deep breath.

Neither of us says a word, but that's alright. No words are needed. Just the feeling of each other's embraces. At this thought I place my chin softly on top of her head. Each move we make means we get more wrapped up in the other's arms. I wish that I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever. When I am in her embrace, I don't worry about anything else. I don't worry about what will happen when this moment ends and I don't worry about anything else in the world.

I'm not sure how long we will sit here; under the bridge, in the peacefulness of the rushing water in the Chasm, the sound of Tris' muffled sobs, wrapped up in each other's tight embraces. But I do know that it will be a long time before either of us decide to move. A long, long time.

**Yes, Yes. I know. IT'S BEEN FOREVER! I am so sorry guys! Like I said up top... I have been a very busy fangirl! There are several other reasons, but I doubt you wanna read all of them! So I will talk about this chapter instead!;) I know the last part is very cliché with Tris and Four thinking almost the exact same things... But that's why it's fanfiction! This chapter took a lot of effort because I'm not used to writing in Four's POV. And I had to keep flipping back and forth between pages to make sure that this chapter matched chapter 8 fine. In fact, that's how I lost over 1,000 words...it couldn't take the take the switching I guess and eventually crashed before I could save it. I was PO. But anyways...I will try to have the next chapter up soon! But does anyone have any ideas on what should happen? I don't want to be stuck with Writer's block again. Yes. AGAIN. But thanks again to Lost1nTheLight! She helped me get out of it!:) But can we get to 50 reviews maybe? IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY!:):) Well...I am supposed to sleeping. Well actually, I was supposed to be sleeping over an hour and a half ago, but I needed to update first! So until next time...SEE YA! **

**P.S. Oh! And make sure to tell me what I did right and wrong! I need a little constructive criticism guys!:0 And can you find the quote in here? (Hint hint...it's towards the very bottom!) Goodnight! (Again)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey people! I'm back! This chapter is in both POV's this time! Hope you like it! And I am sorry I haven't been able to update…I have literally been gone all weekend with my grandparents and cousin and brother. I wrote a lot but still couldn't update…but thanks for all your reviews!:) They make me happy and motivated!;) SO without further ado…CHAPTER !)! Oh whoops…held the shift key down too long. Hehe. I'm gonna try this again…CHAPTER 10! (YES!)**

**Disclaimer: My name is Aubrey G. Veronica Roth owns Divergent; so therefore, since my initials aren't VR, then I do not own the Divergent Trilogy. As painful as it is to say it. :(**

**Chapter 10**

**Tris' POV**

In and out. In and out. That's the way I am breathing. I've stopped sobbing my eyes out and now we just sit here, enjoying each other's presence. I'm still in Four's arms, and quite frankly, I don't want to move. Usually, I would be freaking out if someone hugged me like this (minus Tori of course), especially a guy. But with Four I feel…I don't know how to describe it…safe? Protected? Weightless? It's something like that, at least.

In and out. It's the first time in a long time that I have breathed normally, not heavy, not so quiet that you think I am not breathing, but just….normal. I can thank Four for that. But I still don't want to say anything, so I just tighten my arms around his stomach even more. I'm surprised I haven't constricted him yet.

I know that I shouldn't be too surprised…he's just too tough. He is tough and strong and hot and just doesn't deserve me in his life. I don't know why he hugged me in the first place. Then again…I don't know why I hesitated. Now, while I'm sitting against his chest, wrapped in his embrace, I am suddenly really glad I nodded my head yes.

My calf still burns in pain, but I don't care. I have felt much more pain than this. I will just let it be until we have to move. Cause I don't care right now. In fact, I don't care about anything. I wouldn't care if I died right here, right now, in Four's embrace. I would gladly slip away. But I know he wouldn't let me, even if I had the choice to do exactly that. So I just push the thought away and focus on his steady heartbeat.

I'm so comfortable, that I can feel my eyes slowly getting heavier and heavier. It is getting really hard to keep them open. I haven't gotten much sleep these past couple years. Right now would be a good time to fall asleep…but I need to stay awake. I don't know if Four would want that. I doubt he wants a stupid, injured little girl asleep on his shoulder.

Even with these thoughts in my head, my eyes keep closing and I have to keep opening them. It gets harder and harder each time. Suddenly Four's chest starts to vibrate. It startles me and I slightly jump. "Tris, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I'll wake you up when it's needed. It's alright." Four says. I give in to the weight above my eyelids and slowly fall asleep.

**Four's POV**

I can see Tris' eyelids drooping down, but then jolting open, again and again. She is tired…anyone could see that. She is fighting sleep right now, and I can see the dark purple bags underneath her eyes, signaling that she hasn't gotten much sleep lately. So I say, "Tris, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I'll wake you up when it's needed. It's alright." I think that is all she needed to hear, because not a minute later, she is asleep in my arms. I take this moment to look at her closely.

She looks so calm and beautiful when she's asleep. Like there is absolutely nothing that can hurt her in this world. I wish that this was true...but unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't agree.

I look at her hair. It is wet from the Chasm; not soaking, just damp. I look closely and see something very intriguing. Her hair is blonde, but I also see some black, gray, and blue in her hair also. The black seems to be all over, while the blue and gray are only streaks. I wonder why I saw blonde hair instead of black when she was running off. I look at the back of her hair and see mostly blonde hair. And that would be why. I am very confused as to what color her natural hair really is. I know that one color has to be dyed in, but I can't tell which.

I have a feeling that she didn't want anyone to see her natural hair...probably to escape her past. It's just a guess, but it seems to make sense. I wish I knew what happened to her, but I can't ask. I may lose her trust. She may tell me someday if she still can trust me enough, and I don't want to jeopardize that.

I now look at her figure. She is skinny...very, VERY skinny. Too skinny to be healthy. She is like a stick figure...I know some girls would do this to gain attention, but I know that there is some other reason behind Tris' skinniness. I just slightly lift up her shirt and am still surprised when I can see her ribs sticking out from the rest of her body. I also see a couple of faint scars. This worries me...abuse comes through my mind again. I already ruled out abuse in my mind, but that was mostly out of hope that that wasn't what had happened, or is happening to her. It is horrible to think about, so I try to distract my mind by looking some more.

She has a bigger nose then most people, but it suits her. Her lips are the perfect size and look so soft. I wonder how they would feel against mine...wait! I can't be thinking that! STOP IT MIND! I look at her skin next. It is pale but soft. I take one of her hands and it is warm with her body heat. Her nails are really short; it looks like she bites them. A common habit. Her hand is soft and has little water droplets on it, causing those spots to be colder than the rest of her hand. I wipe the water droplets off with my thumb softly. I can't help but think that her hand fits perfectly in mine...NO! Ok...I really need to stop thinking about this stuff.

I keep looking for any other scars that match the ones on her stomach. I look on her hands and see 3. They're small and faint, but they're there. I look on the rest of her lower legs, and see quite a few. These scars are a little bigger but still faint. These all must've been from a long time ago. I don't think these scars are from abuse though. They are too small and faint. This relieves me.

I wonder what happened to her to make all of these scars. I get that almost everyone has a scar here and there, but not as many as Tris has. No one just HAS these scars.

Before I can think about this for too long, I look at her face again. It is so beautiful. I brush some stray hairs from her face. Whenever I touch her I feel warm and bubbly. I doubt she feels the same though. Why would someone like Tris want someone like me? No one would ever choose me.

I force myself to stop thinking about this and enjoy this moment. I wonder where she lives? I may sound like a sociopath, but I really am curious. I would like to know what type of environment she lives in. I hope it is somewhere decent.

As I am thinking about this, I start to wonder how long we have been sitting here. We started searching a little while after lunch. I am sure that the school day is pretty much over. It was a shortened day anyways. The first day is always shortened. So actually, I know that it is over. How will she get home? I am definitely not letting her walk. Not with her leg. I guess I have my own car...I might as well just give her a ride. She can write down her address or something. I know where everything is...pretty much.

I know Chicago well; I have been living here my whole life. Plus Marcus would go to a lot of different neighborhoods to have supper with some of his co-workers. So I am well acquainted with Chicago.

I know that eventually I will have to wake her up, but I just want a few more minutes of peace and no worries. I know once I wake her up, we will both have to face a horrible thing called reality. So I am well acquainted with Chicago.

I know that eventually I will have to wake her up, but I just want a few more minutes of peace and no worries. I know once I wake her up, we will both have to face a horrible thing called reality. And right now, neither of us are ready for that. Especially her.

I look down and just stare. She is so beautiful…I wish that I could call her mine. This time when I think this, I don't stop my thoughts because I know that they won't go away soon anyways. I let my mind wonder this time.

I swiftly run my fingers through her hair again, just taking in the feeling of it. It is silky and beautiful, even if I can't be sure which color her natural hair is. She looks beautiful either way.

I stare at her for a long time, just thinking about anything and everything. She is so peaceful when sleeping. It makes me smile.

I know I need to wake her up though. I don't know how long it has been since I found her, but I know that it is way past the school day. Plus, I still need to do something with her leg.

I give myself 10 more seconds before I unwillingly reach out and gently shake her. "Tris…hey. It's time to get up," I say. She slowly starts to wake up and I slightly smile when I see her beautiful blue-gray eyes looking up into mine. "Hey," I say. "I don't know how late it is and I still need to fix that leg." She looks up at me, clearly still tired and waking up, and once she realizes what I am saying, she nods.

I know that she wouldn't be able to walk right away because of 3 reasons. 1. She just woke up. 2. She is sore and tired. And 3. She is still hurt, whether she accepts it or not. So I pick her up and carry her bridal style to the rock and sit her down on the edge. I walk back to where the First Aid Kit is at and grab it.

Once I reach Tris again, I open it up and start to search for things I will need. I grab the Hydrogen Peroxide, gauze, and cotton balls out of the kit. **(AN: I have no idea what is all exactly in a First Aid Kit, so bear with me here!)** I look at up Tris. "You ok with me doing this," I ask. She looks into my eyes after a couple of moments and nods her head yes. "Ok. Then let's get this over with," I say, and I start working on her leg.

**Tris POV**

The first thing Four does is drizzles the Hydrogen Peroxide onto my gash. It burns very badly, but I don't want to seem weak, so I just hiss through my teeth, hoping he wouldn't hear. I think I was pretty quiet, but it is hard to tell.

After I couple of seconds, I don't think he did, but then he interrupts my thoughts and says, "Sorry." Ok, so he did hear it. I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was.

He then takes a couple of cotton balls and rubs them across my calf. This doesn't burn as bad as it did the first time. Still burns, but I have been through worse…much worse.

While he is concentrating on my leg, I look at my scars on my hands. I look at every one of them, thinking about how they were formed. I still don't know for sure, but I have guesses. From the impact, burn, or debris, are my best bets. When we crashed, the back of the car was on fire. It was bad.

While I am looking at my scars, I keep looking at Four every once in a while, to make sure he isn't watching me. I don't want him to ask questions. But, he doesn't seem like the type of person who would ask about personal things. Then come back and hurt you. Then again, Eric didn't seem like that person either. But Four is….different. He has a different aroma surrounding him. A mysterious one, but a comforting one as well. He makes me feel safe. In fact, I think that my nap was the only one in the past couple of years that haven't been filled with nightmares. And I know that it was him that made them disappear. I sure wouldn't say that though…I think I would die of embarrassment. Literally.

As I am thinking all of this, his voice penetrates my thoughts…about him. I can't believe I was thinking about him all this time! That's not like me at all to think about someone I have just met too much! But the strange thing is…I don't mind that at all.

I shut out my thoughts and actually start to listen to what he was saying. "Tris…Tris…you in there?" I only then realize that I have been staring at him this whole time. I can feel heat rush to my cheeks and quickly look down, to try and hide the deep red that I'm sure is covering my face. =I hear him quietly chuckle. "Tris, you don't need to be embarrassed. It's fine. I get it. You were lost in your thoughts," he says. Well, that is partly true. I was lost in my though, but little does he know that they were about him.

I slowly look up when I know that my cheeks have returned to their normal color, and can no longer feel heat in my neck and face. I look at him and see his dark blue eyes staring back into my plain blue-gray ones. It is like a staring contest. Eventually Four breaks his gaze and starts to put the stuff back into the First Aid Kit. I just watch.

When he is done, he turns back to me and says, "We better start heading back. With any luck, we will be outside by dark." He then smiles, probably to let me know that he was just joking with me. "C'mon. Let's get going. I will need to give you a ride home. I am pretty sure I am the only one still here and the one that has a car. So…if it is okay with you, you will need to write down an address or something so I can drop you off at the right house," he says.

Should I give him my address? Of course I should. How else am I going to get home? Tori is probably gone, plus I have no clue how long we have been sitting down there. So I nod my head at him and start to get off the rock, but more carefully than I did the last time. He grabs my arm and helps me off, since I am not quite as tall as the rock and it wouldn't be a good idea if I jumped with my leg still healing.

Once I am off the rock we start walking back to the cave, me with just a slight limp. We walk in silence, but it isn't an awkward silence; it is a peaceful and friendly one. Is Four my friend? I can't be sure, but I am pretty sure that he is.

It is kind of funny to think that just this morning, I told myself that I wouldn't make any friends whatsoever. Then Four and Christina come along and my vow was broken. But I actually can see us being friends. Maybe even being friends with the rest of the people that were sitting at that table at lunch. Just maybe. And I am not bothered by that much. I mean, of course I am nervous because of the way it turned out with Hailey and Taylor, but I think that these guys are different. At least, I know Four and Christina are. And if they hang out with those other people, then I bet that they're decent. At least, I hope.

By the time I am done thinking all of this, we are getting towards the end of the tunnel. We keep walking and finally we are out of the tunnel. My leg aches and burns, but I won't dare do anything about it. I mean, for one I deserve this pain. But I have had enough weak moments around Four and I really don't want my weakness to show like that again.

"Ok…so I think we better slide this panel back into place. It's pretty heavy though," Four says. Great. Just what I needed. Another possible way for my leg to be weak and give out. It isn't even that big of a gash! But I guess I haven't been eating or exactly been taking care of myself the greatest. But still…I wish I was stronger.

Together, we slide the panel back into place. He was right…it was really heavy and now my leg is shaking, but I don't pay attention to it. I just start to walk out the door when Four does. My leg is getting shakier, but I still ignore it.

Pretty soon, my arms have taken up the shaking also. Both legs and arms are shaking, but to cover it up, I cross my arms and hope that will stop a little bit of the shaking. It barely stopped, but I grit my teeth and keep walking.

Now, a few paces farther, I have tears forming in my eyes because it is getting quite painful. Crossing my arms isn't helping at all now. My whole body is shaking and I am now hoping and praying that Four won't notice that my leg is about to collapse from underneath me. But I already know that it is too much to ask for, so it doesn't surprise me when he stops.

He looks at me up and down. Then he sighs. "Tris, you really shouldn't have been using that leg too much. When it started to shake you should've stopped. I understand. Because now look at you…" he trails off at the end. I guess he is right. I have sweat trickling down my forehead and I am shaking like an earthquake. "Why don't you sit down Tris," he says. Although that is all I want to do, I stubbornly shake my head no.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He says, "Tris. You. Are. Not. Weak. I know that's why you're saying no. Did anyone ever tell you that you were stubborn?" _"Well, yes. Actually you'd be surprised at how many times I have been told that,"_ I think.

I don't know how he knew that I was thinking that I was weak and that is why I said no, but honestly, I don't really care at the moment. I need to sit down. I need to and I know it. But once again, I shake my head. He lets out a breath through his nose and walks over to me. He grabs my shoulders and gently pushes me down against the wall. It doesn't help that my leg immediately collapses when he does this. I glare at him, but he just says, "Tris, you needed it. You need to sit for a couple more minutes before you are going to get up and walk again." I just huff and look away. I know he is right …I can't do anything about it though. It's not like I can just get up and start walking now.

He watches me for a second before sliding down against the wall next to me. We sit there for a couple of minutes before he says, "Listen Tris. I know you're not mad at me. You can act like it, but I know. So please stop ignoring me and let's head on up to my car. Ok?"

He's right. I'm not mad at him. I couldn't possibly be mad at him after everything he has done for me today. So I turn my head and look at him, then nod my head. He gets up first and offers a hand down to me. I take it gratefully and he helps me up. Once again, when we touch, I feel little sparks in my hand. But I shrug it off. It's probably nothing…right?

Once I am up, we head out the doors of the school and just like we thought, there is only one or two cars that we can see. One of them being Four's. He heads toward the silver Hyundai. It's a nice car and I like how it isn't too much. It's just right. He digs in his pocket and pulls out a set of keys and unlocks it. He helps me in before getting in himself. He gives me a piece of paper and a pencil. I look at him, one eyebrow arched. "To write down your address on," he says. I feel stupid. He told me he would do this.

I grab the pencil and write down,

1664 Diversey Avenue** (Btw…this is actually a street name in Chicago. I did some research…It was pretty darn close to Divergent.)**

When I hand it back to him his eyes seem to bulge out of his head. This makes me really confused. I stare at him expectantly. When he looks back over at me, he asks, "Did you move into a house that has bricks and a flower garden in the backyard? Just a couple of weeks ago?" Something is suspicious…I did move into a house with that description, at that time. I slowly nod my head yes. He just smiles at me, turns the car on and says, "Well I guess you are my new neighbor now."

I stare at him shocked. We are neighbors?! Cool! At least I know I don't have a stuck up rich kid next door. I look at him and smile. Yes. I smile a genuine smile. It's not a huge smile, but it counts. He looks shocked for a moment before smiling back. "I guess I know where to go then," he says. He starts to drive to Diversey Avenue.

When we get stopped at a red light, he asks me, "Is there any specific reason you moved here Tris?" As he says this, I immediately tense up and tears start to form in my eyes. He looks over and sees this and apologizes. "Sorry! Sorry…I shouldn't have even brought it up!" I manage to blink back the tears. Then I relax and look at him and hope that my eyes are telling him that it's okay. That he didn't know it was a sensitive topic. He nods at me right as the light turns green. He looks back at the road and drives the rest of the way there in a peaceful silence, once again.

He pulls into our block and in front of my house. He asks me, "This is it…right?" I nod and smile at him again. It feels good to smile again. Especially since I have a reason to now. I start to get out of the car and Four immediately jumps out and helps me.

We make it to the front door step when I realize that he doesn't know that Tori is my guardian now. Well…I don't think he'll care. Might as well tell him. I mean, we are neighbors. He would find out sooner or later anyways.

He knocks on the door. It is only a few seconds later that I hear several thumps and footsteps running towards the door. Four looks at me kind of funny…like why is this person sprinting towards the door? And that is actually one question that I could answer. Tori has always been a worrier. Not about anything and everything….just about the people that she cares for and loves. So yes. I know why she is sprinting towards the door. I'm just waiting to see Four's reaction.

Finally, the door opens and a worried Tori stands there. Well…a worried CONFUSED Tori. I look at Four and he looks the same way…just confused though. Not very worried. He is the first to speak. "Tori? Wait…what? Are you Tris' mom?" he says. Wow. What a great way to start. "Hi Four…and no I am not Tris' mom. However, I am her guardian," she says. This makes Four even more confused. Tori FINALLY looks over at me and checks me over. She looks me up and down and her eyes stop at my leg. Her eyes widen and she becomes worried again. "Oh my gosh! What happened?! Come in Tris! You too Four," she says.

We both walk inside, both Four and Tori helping me since I can barely walk on it now. I hate it because it reminds me of how weak I am, but I don't want to injure myself anymore, so I let them.

We reach the couch in the living room and there we all sit down. Tori looks at both of us, waiting for someone to say something. Four sits there looking between me and Tori, trying to figure out what is going on. I just sit here and watch them both. Whenever either makes eye contact I look at my hands like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

Eventually Tori says, "Somebody please tell me what is going on here!? Four?!" She looks at me mostly while she is saying this. Once again, I watch my hands. Four looks at me and says, "Well, you already know when she ran off. That story. So…what exactly do you want to hear?" "How about we start with that," Tori says, while pointing at my leg. I can feel my cheeks warm up again.

"Well…do you want the long-drawn out story or the short one?" he asks. "You know, I really don't care as long as I have an idea of what happened," Tori says. Four nods and says, "The short story then."

I already know the whole thing, so I tune out. I try to focus on my hands and the floor that way my mind doesn't turn back to memories. And for once, my mind isn't plagued with memories. I don't want to admit it, but I think that sitting by Four is helping with this.

After a couple of minutes I start to worry that Four told her where I was at. I really don't want anyone to know, except Four of course. I start to tune back in when I hear Tori ask me, "But where exactly where were you? None of us could find you!" I give Four a grateful look. I am glad that he didn't mention where I was. I want that to be kept between us. I am just going to give Tori a vague answer then.

I point at Four as if to say, "He found me. What do you mean none of you could?" Tori just gives me a stare and says, "Ha. Ha. Very funny." She looks at me again, but I don't do anything else. Tori sighs after a little bit of this. "Ok. So obviously you aren't going to tell me. But you know what? As long as you are alright, then it doesn't really matter to me. You are safe. That's what matters," she says. She gives me a hug after she says this. I hug her back.

She pulls back and looks at Four. "Thank you Four, for finding her," she says. Four smiles and says, "Anytime. Anytime." He looks at me as he says this. I blush and stare at the ground. Tori reaches over and gives him a hug. It only lasts a few moments, though.

"Well…Tris. You should probably go get some rest. You have school tomorrow," Tori says. I frown at her. "Tris." Tori gives me a look. It wipes off the look on my face. "I will go get your room ready for you while you two say goodbye. When you're done, can you help her up Four?" Tori asks. Four nods. She walks upstairs soon after.

Four looks at me and says, "Well…I guess I don't have much to say other than get some rest and get better soon." I slightly smile at him. He smiles back and reaches out to give me a hug. I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck. We both hold each other tightly. I bury my head into the crook of his neck. I close my eyes and start to fall asleep again.

I feel Four start to pick me up. I may have protested if I wasn't so tired, but this time I let him carry me. I lean my head on his chest and close my eyes again. I feel him and Tori lay me on the bed and cover me up. My eyes were shut, but I could still hear them talk.

"You know, I hate to admit it, but I was kind of hoping you were going to be the one to find her. I knew you were quiet and could hear better than most of us. You'd take care of her right away. Thanks for that Four. Do you need a ride home?" Tori asks. I can hear Four chuckle. "Well, not unless you want to drive less than 10 feet." I know Tori is probably very confused. "I live right next door," Four finally says. "Oh…that makes sense. Well, then I guess I may be having you help me at times," Tori says. He just says, "You don't even have to ask. I will help anytime." "Nice to know Four. Thank you for helping out today. Have a safe walk home," Tori says. I crack my eyes open slightly. I see Tori wink and smile. Four smiles back and says, "I will. Thanks Tori."

He starts to walk out, but Tori stops him. "Wait Four. I just want to tell you that I think you are going to be good for her. She's had a rough couple years and I think she deserves someone like you. So no. Thank YOU. So much. For everything." Four starts to look over at me. I shut my eyes quickly. All Four says is, "I sure hope so Tori. I sure hope so." I hear him walk out afterwards.

I hear footsteps coming towards me. I know it is Tori. "Goodnight Tris. Sweet dreams," she says. I can hear footsteps walk out and the door shut moments later. I open my eyes again. I get up and walk over to my window. I see Four walk in through his front door as I look down. I wonder if his room is the one across from mine. I wait a few minutes and my question is answered as I see him walk into the room and flop down on the bed. I don't think he knows that my room is the one in the window across from him. At least, he doesn't show any sign of knowing.

I step back and pull my shade over my window. As much I don't want to, I know I need to do some things before I actually go to sleep. And I respect his privacy. I walk into my bathrooom and get into the shower. I grab my razor part way through it. But tonight, I only add 5 new cuts. One for each family member, another for my carelessness, and one for stupid, ugly me.

I get out of the shower and take out my hair dye. I dye it the same way, get dressed, and crawl back to bed. I climb under the covers and close my eyes. I never knew that a day could be so jam packed. It wasn't as bad as usual though. I made a couple of friends and hopefully more to come. I am just glad that this isn't going to (hopefully) isn't going to turn out like my old school. I don't think I could take that. I am just happy that I have Four and Christina FOR SURE. If it ends up just being those two, than I would be fine with that. With that thought, I drift off to sleep.

**I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! Unfortunately, I was very busy this weekend. I had a sleepover on Friday, my grandma spent the night on Saturday and I also went to see Big Hero 6. (It was very good.) But I also was sick for part of last week. I am almost completely better. Just a little cough for right now. Yesterday, I had my grandpa come to my house for part of the day and the other part I was with my mom's side of the family for soup and cinnamon rolls. I also have an aunt** **that will be coming up to go to a movie with my family and her kids and husband on Friday or Saturday. So I may not be able to update for a little while. But I will try to update next week as much as I can! I hope this chapter makes up for the time I haven't updated. We didn't have school today. YES! But can we get to 60 reviews? It would make me really happy! I danced the whole day that I reached 55 reviews! So thank you to all who have reviewed, favorited, and followed!:) See you soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey I'm back! Thanks so much for all of your reviews! They made me so happy! I've been typing as much as I could! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Isn't obvious that I am Veronica Roth? **

**JK! I am not Veronica Roth, therefore, I do not own anything of hers. Not even her house.**

**Warning: Mention of rape. If you don't want to read it, then skip past my 2 AN's.**

**Four's POV**

I climb into bed and just think for a little bit. One thing is Tori's conversation with me. _"I just want to tell you that I think you are going to be good for her. She's had a rough couple years and I think she deserves someone like you." _Does Tori suspect that I like Tris? I mean, I didn't think it was THAT obvious. Then again, Tori seems like the type of person that could read your mind. I saw the way her and Tris communicated. She understood right away, asking no questions. That's pretty good. Even if she has been living with Tris for the past couple of years.

I decide to think about something else, trying to piece together what little information I have been given. Trying to get a general idea of what could've possibly happened to Tris. "_She's had a rough couple of years and I think she deserves someone like you." _

I think about this for a little bit. It had to have happened to her in the past 2-3 years. Whenever this happened, it had to be somewhat recent. I mean, if it was 4 years ago then I don't think Tris would be acting like this. But if it happened just 1 year ago, then Tris wouldn't probably respond at all, depending on how bad her situation was. And Tori wouldn't have said, "Couple of years." She would've said year…right? Ugh. I don't know. This whole thing is giving me a headache.

I look over at my alarm clock by my bed and see that it says it is 12:34 a.m. Have I really been thinking about this for that long? Wow. I probably need to get some sleep. I roll over and close my eyes, trying to get some sleep before the morning.

After about an hour, I decide that the idea of sleep is pointless and get up. I sit up in the bed and just sit there, trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, at least, before my alarm would start to yell at me to get up.

I do enjoy the peace for a little while, until I hear a piercing scream coming from…Tris' house? I run over to my window to see if I can see anything. I get a perfect view of what is happening actually. My window looks into Tris' room. I see Tris thrashing around in her bed. I am about to go over there when I see Tori walk in. She shakes Tris and wakes her up. Tris sits up really fast. Tori hugs her and holds her tight. After a minute or two, Tris seems to get over her initial shock and hugs Tori back. It must've been a nightmare.

When I look more closely, I see that Tris' hair is black, gray, and blue again. Is that her natural hair? Or did she dye it again? Obviously the blue is a dye, but I can't be sure about the black or gray. Usually people don't have gray hair unless they're old, but Tris is only 16. It could be that she has gray hair, but I don't think that it is her natural hair, so I rule that color out. It has to black or blonde. Either of which could be natural colors. She can pull off black and blonde hair, so I have no idea which color it actually is. Maybe someday I will know.

I am snapped out of my thinking process when they both release from their embrace. I can see Tori's mouth moving, but I can't hear what it is. I see Tris nod and lay back down. Tori walks out a little bit later. I am about to go lay back down too, until I see Tris get up and walk out of her room. I look over at my clock. It reads, 1:23 a.m. What could she be doing at this hour? I don't know.

I watch from my window for 15 minutes, but she never returns. I decide to go back to bed. Nothing happened to her…I am pretty sure. Tori is there…she can take care of Tris. And Tris can take care of herself. So I leave the situation alone.

I go back to my bed and lay down. 10 minutes later, I remember that I couldn't fall asleep. I decide to go to the dugout. You see, the dugout is somewhere I found that was beneath my house. It basically was a big, empty room when I found it. I bought some beanbag chairs, some rugs, and a TV and spruced the place up a little bit. I always have noticed that there was a door there, but I have never checked it out. I don't know if I want to know where it leads. It probably is none of my business.

I get up and get dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants. I quickly walk down the stairs from my room and try to remember where the panel was that led to it. I haven't been down there for at least for 6 months. I almost forgot about the place. It probably is covered in dust and dirt.

Suddenly I remember that the panel was in the hallway. I run my fingers along the walls of the hall and stop when I feel a slight bump in it. I slide it left and after a little while it opens. There are stairs leading to the room, but thankfully, there aren't many. I walk down the stairs and suddenly stop.

I hear a lot of thumps and yells from down there. Did someone else find this place? Surely not…I mean there has been that other door there ever since I found the place. I thought it probably led to the house next door, which was for sale at the time. But now it isn't now because Tris and Tori moved in…oh…it makes sense now. It must be Tris…I don't think Tori would have any reason to come down here. I think?

I continue walking down the stairs as fast as I can. As I get closer, the thumps get louder and I can hear a scream every once in a while. Is she hurt? Panic rushes through me, but I keep walking down the stairs at the same pace, making sure I won't trip since I didn't bring any kind of light.

I get closer and closer and I can finally hear all of the sounds. I can her someone-probably Tris-running and a few moments after, a loud thump from the wall. She is either punching it or throwing stuff at it. It's hard to tell which one she's doing. Every few minutes, I hear a frustrated scream.

I decide to open the door, but am caught by surprise when something hits the door. I yelp, because of my surprise. The sounds suddenly stop and I hear shuffling. I open up the door.

**Tris POV**

When I threw a bean bag at the door that I have not yet explored, I heard a yell come from inside of it. I was terrified. I ran behind a pile of bean bags and rugs I had made for my pile of "ammo", as I liked to call it.

The door opens and hold my breath. "Hello?" someone says. But this isn't just _someone_…it was Four! I would know his voice anywhere. I keep holding my breath. "Tris? I know you're in here. Where are you?" By this time, it's been about a minute and my lungs are burning. My eyes start to water, but I STILL hold my breath. I know I won't last for much longer though.

I hear footsteps coming towards me. I squeeze my eyes shut. "Tris?" Four asks again. I hear him sigh about a minute later. I can hear him plop down on one of the bean bags that I am hiding behind. Now, I have tears streaming down my face, my vision is spotty, and my lungs are on fire. I angrily swipe at my tears and when I know Four isn't going to get up for a while, I stuff my face into a bean bag next to me and suck in a HUGE breath. I hope it was quiet. I keep my face in there for a little while, until my tears have stopped, my vision is only a little bit spotty, and my lungs are only slightly burning now. I start to take breaths through my nose as I pull my face out.

Either Four didn't hear me, or he is just letting me have some time, but he has only shifted a bit. I take this time to gather a rug in my hands and ball it up inside of my fist. I pretend that this is Eric.

My nightmare tonight was not the usual. It wasn't about that September day. It was about Eric, and the second worse night of my life.

You are probably wondering about Eric. Who is Eric? Why is he so bad? What happened? Well, I was 14 when IT happened. I'll tell you the full story, but right now, I will just give you the outlines.

So, basically, Eric betrayed me. We were a couple; boyfriend, girlfriend, and my best friend. He acted like a perfect gentleman and I was stupid enough to think that we would be together forever. Looking back on it now is just a nightmare and it only adds more cuts to my daily amount. I was young and stupid and I thought that I-no-_we_ were in love. And while I had my head stuck up in the clouds, he turned around and stabbed me in the back. Not literally…but pretty close.

So…now that you know what this is kind of about, here is the full story.

I was 12. 7th grade and wanted nothing more than the other girls in my class did; to be noticed by someone. To hopefully be asked out by one of the boys. So when Eric came along, of course I said yes.

You see…about a month before he asked me, I had noticed that he had been staring at me a little longer than what was appropriate. When I noticed, I would simply blush and turn away. He was a year older than me! Why would he like me?

After a little while, my _friends_ had started to notice too. They would bug me at lunch, at class, on the phone, and basically EVERYWHERE I went. It started to get annoying.

After a couple of weeks, Eric came up to me at lunch and asked to speak with me privately. My heart was pounding at that point and I nodded and got up. I was blushing also because the people I was sitting with were giggling and winking at me and Eric.

He had pulled me into a hallway and asked me, "Listen Beatrice. I really like you. I have for a little while. So I guess my question is…will you go out with me?" It wasn't anything unique or special, but by that time, I was so overwhelmed that my wish had come true, that I didn't think things over and I just nodded my head yes.

He smiled and we walked back into the cafeteria together. When my friends asked, I said that we were together.

A couple of years passed and I was just turning 14. I got invited, along with Eric, to a party. It was for me. At that time, Eric and I were popular so a lot of people were going to come. Caleb was also pretty popular, even though he was a nerd, so when people found out that his sister was having a party, they decided to come too.

That night, my house was packed to the very brim. I hadn't expected so many people to come. So I really couldn't see my way through anything. Later, Eric came up behind me. I could tell it was him cause he did his signature whisper into my ear. He had asked me, "Hey Bea. Wanna get out of here?" Not knowing what he meant, I nodded, ecstatic that I could maybe breathe without being breathed on.

He grabbed my hand and led me to my room. I was a little confused as why he had brought me there. He, obviously knowing what I was thinking, smirked and asked me, "Do you love me?" I was startled and stared at him. I was pretty sure that I was in love at that point, but I guess I was just too shocked to respond. He asked me it again. "Bea, do you love me?" I looked into his eyes and said that I did, indeed, love him.

The look on his face after that was so vicious and so sardonic after that, that I had taken a step back out of fear. I tried to take back what I said, realizing that I shouldn't be scared of the man that I _love. _"Eric…listen. Maybe I was wrong. We are too young to be in love. Don't you think?" I had said.

His facial expression tightened and his face got red. My heart had started to beat a little faster than normal. He had suddenly lunged at me. I tried to get out of the way, but I wasn't quick enough. He had slapped me, punched me, kicked me, and threw me until I was laying on the ground, trying to process what just happened.

He started walking towards me with that same look and I just cowered back against the wall even more, afraid of what was next. Finally, he was up next to me. He whispered into my ear. "You can't take back what you said. You said you loved me. Now prove it." **( AN: This is where it starts. I think you kind of know what happens.)**

He threw me onto my bed and realizing what he was about to do, started to fight back. It was working, because he wasn't getting where he wanted to. Until he pulled out the knife. My eyes were as big as saucers and I screamed as he slid the knife down my stomach, successfully making a gash and cutting my shirt off.

Not being able to fight back anymore, he got what he wanted. I did try to fight back sometimes, but he just cut me even more. I was just hoping someone would find me.

I got most of my scars from that night. Later, when the first thrust was performed, I had screamed so loud, but still no one came to help me. I passed out from the pain right after. I don't know how long it went on.

When I had woken the next morning, I sobbed and sobbed. I locked my door, closed my drapes, and didn't go to school for the next week. All I could think about was the pain; both mentally and physically.

**(AN: That was the end. For those of you who didn't read it, Eric did it, hitting and cutting her in the process.)**

I shake my head as I stop thinking about it. It just brings more frustrated tears to my eyes. I ball up the rug even more, and start to see red again. I forget that Four is here and tug up on the rug.

I get up and throw it at the wall with all my strength. I see Four turn around, but I don't worry about it. I don't want to end up hurting him. I turn back to the pile. I grab another bean bag and spin, then let go and let it hit the wall again. "TRIS! STOP! What are you doing?!" I hear Four yell at me. I don't answer though, just focused on throwing things and making the most damage I can.

I throw a few more bean bags, with Four's yells of course, but still feel angry. Nothing is breaking! I ball my fist up and hit the wall. It makes a loud thud and it hurts really bad. But I have had worse. I keep punching the wall until I feel hands dragging me away from the wall. I turn around, knowing that it has to be Four, and try to hit him. He easily blocks it. I keep trying to lash out at him, still seeing red.

After a while of this, he knows I am not stopping. He sighs and tells me to calm down. I don't listen though. I keep trying to get away so I can keep punching the wall.

He takes me by surprise and pushes me down onto a beanbag. He puts my arms above my head and pins them down, along with my legs. I can only move my head. I still keep trying, even though I know I have a 0% chance of getting away. "Tris. Calm down. Calm, down." he keeps saying.

Eventually, I realize what I am actually trying to do. I am trying to HURT Four! The one who just saved me from breaking my hand, and helping me out all day at school. What does he think of me now? I am such a complete idiot! I stop moving right away and I think it takes Four by surprise.

I relax my shoulders and huff. My vision gets normal again. I look down. Knowing that I've stopped, Four unpins me, allowing me to get up. I don't though. I just sit there, thinking about what I have just done. I couldn't control myself.

I don't though. I just sit there, thinking about what I have just done. I couldn't control myself. I hate myself right now. I see Four sigh and crouch down next to me on the floor. "Tris. It's fine. You didn't even touch me. It's not your fault. You weren't thinking straight. Ok?" he says. I look at him incredulously. I just try to hurt him! The man who has helped me all day, and he still isn't mad at me? How!? I would be mad if it was switched around. That just goes to show how great of a friend he is.

I look up at him, and to show him that I am sorry, thankful, and ok all at once without saying anything, I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him. It only takes a second before he starts to hug back. A couple of minutes later, I can feel all the tension leave my shoulders, as I relax.

Unfortunately, it is only a couple more minutes before we release each other. Wait-what am I thinking?! I am GLAD that I am not hugging Four anymore! Right? Oh, who am I kidding? I love how I feel safe and secure in his arms. For once, I can actually relax and let go of all my worries when I am in his arms.

"Tris?" I hear Four ask. I snap my head up and give him my attention so I don't daze off again. "Do you think we should put everything back and go back to bed before school tomorrow? I mean, I get if you don't want to…it's just that we will both be super tired if we don't at least try and get a few more hours of sleep," he says.

He's probably right. I am getting super tired and can barely keep my eyes open. I look around the room.

What I see surprises me. Bean bags and rugs are all over the floor. The place where I punched the wall has a big dent in it. Some bean bags have small holes that have beads spilling out of them.

I must've looked as surprised as I felt too, because I hear Four chuckling. "Ya…I don't know what set it off, but you kind of scared me when you went into a rampage there. I was not expecting that," he says, while looking around the room as well.

Without a word, I get up and start putting things back where they belong. After Four realizes what I am doing, he gets up and starts helping as well. Pretty soon, everything looks pretty normal except for the abnormal dent in the wall from my fist. I look at Four and he is looking at it too. He turns to me while smiling. "What did that wall ever do to you?" he asks me, while smiling. I smile too, and shrug.

"Well…I hate to say it Tris, but I think a few more hours of sleep for both of us sounds pretty good." I just nod. Ya…I don't know how EXACTLY I am going to make it up my stairs without falling asleep. Four starts walking towards me. I get a little afraid, knowing that the last time someone started walking towards me like this, it did not end well. *cough* Eric. *cough* But I quickly dismiss those thoughts, knowing Four would never do that to me.

When Four is next to me, he wraps his arms around my waist. Realizing that he is not hurting me, just merely hugging me, I hug back again. For the 3rd time today. I think?

It only lasts a few seconds though before I start to yawn. Four releases me. "Goodnight Tris. Sleep well," he says. I smile back at him and wave. Then I walk to the opposite side of the room where the door is. I turn back one last time, but Four is already gone. I start to climb up the stairs.

I finally get to the top and step out. I then slide the panel back in place and go to my room. My clock reads 3:30 am. Wow…was I really down there for that long?

I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror to make sure my dye is still in. It is, but when I brush it, some of it starts to come off. So I wash it out and put the new stuff in.

After that, I climb back under the covers of my bed. I look out my window and see that Four is in his bed too. He isn't asleep yet though. He is sitting up…for some reason. I close the drapes and lay down.

I close my eyes, but then suddenly they snap open. I am scared of nightmares. They already brought me a nice flashback of Eric. What else do they plan to bring? The regular nightmares, or something else? Eric again?

With these thoughts, I get up and start pacing. I can't fall back asleep. I look at the clock again, but it only says 4:03 am. I have two and a half more hours before I have to get up for school. I sigh and go sit on my bed. Maybe this is why Four was sitting up also? Could he not fall asleep?

I open up my drapes and look at him. He is still sitting up, but he's not facing me. I turn away and leave the drapes open, knowing I would open them soon anyways.

I start to think about the date. What is it anyways? I know it's the first day of school, so it has to be sometime in late August or early September. I have no way to tell though…except for my alarm. I remember Tori telling me that there is a button I can push that will tell me the date. I didn't really pay attention then though, but now I wish I did.

I turn to the alarm and start working on it. I push all the buttons I can find, but it never tells me the date. I am getting frustrated. I need to know what the date is! I keep trying, but later I start pounding on it. When I am frustrated, I start hitting or throwing things…in case you couldn't tell.

Then I feel someone's eyes burning into the back of my head. I don't know how I can tell…I guess I just have always been able to know if someone was watching me. Don't ask why. My mom always could too. Did I get it from her? Probably.

I slowly turn in the direction of the eyes. When I am turned, I am staring out the window into a pair of dark blue ones. It was Four. He is smiling. He saw my alarm pound, I'm guessing.

When Four is next to me, he wraps his arms around my waist. Realizing that he is not hurting me, just merely hugging me, I hug back again. For the 3rd time today. I think?

It only lasts a few seconds though before I start to yawn. Four releases me. "Goodnight Tris. Sleep well," he says. I smile back at him and wave. Then I walk to the opposite side of the room where the door is. I turn back one last time, but Four is already gone. I start to climb up the stairs.

I finally get to the top and step out. I then slide the panel back in place and go to my room. My clock reads 3:30 am. Wow…was I really down there for that long?

I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror to make sure my dye is still in. It is, but when I brush it, some of it starts to come off. So I wash it out and put the new stuff in.

After that, I climb back under the covers of my bed. I look out my window and see that Four is in his bed too. He isn't asleep yet though. He is sitting up…for some reason. I close the drapes and lay down.

I close my eyes, but then suddenly they snap open. I am scared of nightmares. They already brought me a nice flashback of Eric. What else do they plan to bring? The regular nightmares, or something else? Eric again?

With these thoughts, I get up and start pacing. I can't fall back asleep. I look at the clock again, but it only says 4:03 am. I have two and a half more hours before I have to get up for school. I sigh and go sit on my bed. Maybe this is why Four was sitting up also? Could he not fall asleep?

I open up my drapes and look at him. He is still sitting up, but he's not facing me. I turn away and leave the drapes open, knowing I would open them soon anyways.

I start to think about the date. What is it anyways? I know it's the first day of school, so it has to be sometime in late August or early September. I have no way to tell though…except for my alarm. I remember Tori telling me that there is a button I can push that will tell me the date. I didn't really pay attention then though, but now I wish I did.

I turn to the alarm and start working on it. I push all the buttons I can find, but it never tells me the date. I am getting frustrated. I need to know what the date is! I keep trying, but later I start pounding on it. When I am frustrated, I start hitting or throwing things…in case you couldn't tell.

Then I feel someone's eyes burning into the back of my head. I don't know how I can tell…I guess I just have always been able to know if someone was watching me. Don't ask why. My mom always could too. Did I get it from her? Probably.

I slowly turn in the direction of the eyes. When I am turned, I am staring out the window into a pair of dark blue ones. It was Four. He is smiling. He saw my alarm pound, I'm guessing.

At first I get a little angry that he was watching me, then I think about it, and I do have to admit. I probably looked funny while I was pushing a million buttons, then pounding on it. I smile too. Then he mouths some words to me. Lucky for him, I've always been able to read lips. _"What were you doing?"_ After I can see him laugh. Woah! He laughed! He actually laughed! And I was the one to make him laugh! I mean…he has chuckled before, but never full out LAUGHED!

_"He's probably laughed before Tris. It's nothing to get too excited about," _I think to myself. My smile still gets wider though. I see him give me an expectant look. I mouth back, _"Nothing…" _He shakes his head, obviously not believing me. He then says, _"What were you trying to figure out? Obviously not the time." _ I can feel my cheeks start to heat up. I can't believe he saw that whole thing!

_"The date…?" _I mouth. _"You don't know what the date is?" _he asks me. I shake my head. He turns around and walks over to somewhere in his room. Where was he going? Did he just leave me because he thought I was stupid enough not to know the date? No…surely not. He wouldn't do that…would he?

My question is answered when he walks back and holds up a sheet of paper. It says, _"August 28". _August 28? It's only a month until it will officially be 2 years since I've been without my real family. Only 31 days. 744 hours.

I hang my head down and take a deep breath, while I will myself not to cry in front of Four…again. I can feel tears burning in the back of my eyes. I am completely and utterly dreading September 28th. Even today, with giving myself a gash on the leg, having a horrible nightmare, and crying in front of Four and everyone else on the table, is _wonderful_ compared to what that day will be like. I just know that it won't be pretty.

Once I feel the tears leave, I look back up at Four. He looks concerned, worried, and confused all at the same time. I look away from him for a second. I don't want to have to explain why I am upset about the _date_.

In a normal life, the _date_ wouldn't even matter to them. I wish so much that my life could be normal. But it can't. My life is just sad, fearful, and full of regret. It's great! Note the sarcasm.

I take a chance and look back at Four. He is writing something on the paper. When he is done, the paper reads, _"I'm not gonna ask any questions because I know you won't answer them. But are you ok?" _ I smile at his concerned face. It's kind of cute actually…NO! It's not cute! I can't be thinking this stuff! Can I? Is it ok to be thinking this? I don't even know anymore. I'm so confused about everything, so I just let those thoughts fade away and nod at him, while giving him a slight smile to prove that I am ok. He smiles back. He writes something else.

_"Is it really 4:30?"_ I look back at my clock. It says it is 4:33 am. Feeling like being a smart Alek, I grab a piece of paper, large enough for him to see and write, _"Well, no actually." _ When I show Four, he looks confused. I write down, _"Technically, it's 4:33."_ I have a smirk on my face. He just shakes his head and writes, _"Feeling smart, now are we?" _My smirk just gets bigger until it turns into a smile.

He yawns. A couple of seconds later, I yawn too. I swear, yawns are contagious! I look back at him, only to find him holding a note saying, _"I am actually tired now…I am going back to bed. Good night Tris!" _ I wave at him and smile, then write, _"Good night." _He smiles and goes to his bed. I close my drapes, _again_, and go to my bed.

Tonight was the closest I have ever been to talking. I think that's why Four looked so shocked when I mouthed back to him. I think I kind of surprised myself too. I didn't ever think I would get this close to talking…of course that was back in the house I grew up in. And knowing that I got close to talking doesn't bother me. I feel like if I do end up talking to someone like Four, then I wouldn't mind. And I wouldn't.

I also smiled…a LOT. And I'm not ashamed. It felt good to smile. I haven't smiled like that in a long time. Once again, Four was able to make me smile. And once again, I don't mind. With these thoughts, I smile _again. _

So tonight, when I go to bed to get just another hour or so of sleep, I'm not afraid of what my nightmares will bring. I am almost starting to chant in my mind, _"Bring it on!" _I am actually glad that I might be able to get some sleep. I am glad that Four came along…even if we just are acquaintances in the future, I am thankful for tonight.

I lay down and close my eyes. I picture Four's face in my mind before I fall asleep. And for once, I sleep in peace. In the dark, where no nightmares can get me. And I can only thank Four.

**Hey! So like I promised...I had Chapter 11 up this week! If you don't remember, I promised that I would try to have the next chapter up by next week. And I know I am cutting it close, because it is only 10 minutes until midnight! O_o But I still made it! I might not be able to update this upcoming week…some "things" happened at school…and well…let's just get to the point. I won't ever be able to see one of my friends again. I saw them once on Friday, but then, it was just him running out. I remember his friends were all crying when they saw him run off. He didn't have the best home life and he got made fun of a lot. And now, he is going into the foster care system. So guys…I stress for you not to ever judge someone by what they look, smell, or act like. Because he was a really great kid…he really was. He was just raised by the wrong people. So I can only hope that this life will be better for him. Even if I will never know. So please just keep him in your prayers and thoughts guys. He needs it.**

**Anyways…enough with the sad stuff! Did anyone see Mockingjay Pt. 1!? I saw it and it was the most AMAZING thing EVER! You guys need to go see it if you haven't! YOU NEED TO! **

**And thanks to all of you guys who reviewed last chapter! You guys rock! And thanks to all of my readers, followers, and favorites also! You guys rock too!:) I will try to update as soon as possible, but like I said. It could take a couple of weeks. I am gonna be busy…ESPECIALLY with Thanksgiving and Black Friday coming up! So excited!:) So have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!:) GOOD NIGHT!**


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